Anger Management is important in leadership development
Emotions are part of the human experience, and the high pressure of leadership often brings them out into the open. Most leaders are familiar with feelings of frustration, fear, disappointment, impatience, or resentment at some point in their careers. One specific emotion can cause more damage than all the rest combined: anger.
Every leader has a different threshold of anger. It can build long before it gets noticed or grows suddenly and powerfully. Anger in leadership can range from total denial to unchecked and explosive eruption.
Some believe that anger is unavoidable and should be expected from everyone. This mindset welcomes anger and considers it part of life. Others believe anger is to be avoided at all costs, especially by management. Either way, leaders need not be framed by anger. There are solutions to manage anger in leadership development to minimize its effects and provide employees with the most positive and productive environment possible.
When Leaders Express Anger
Anger comes with various issues and side effects, many of which lie below the surface and go undetected by the untrained leader. Concealing anger may seem feasible in the short term but cannot be hidden for long. Leaders reveal their anger through verbal language, body language, reasoning, and decision-making—or the lack thereof. Your employees will typically sense your anger before you verbally express it.
Leaders who consistently allow anger to be outwardly and openly display damaged relationships. No one wants to be the brunt of anger, especially from a superior. A leader’s thoughtless anger can crush a person’s self-esteem and cause numerous emotional or psychological issues, detrimentally impacting their ability to carry out their duties.
Although the nature of anger has changed little over countless generations, the rules of order in the workplace have. The old-school management philosophy favored leadership dominance and control. Anger and intimidation were techniques for wielding power, and employee fear was regarded as a means of respecting that power.
Those days are long gone. People no longer tolerate oppressive leadership. They require their company to allow them to succeed, enjoy their work, and have a sense of growth and value.
Much research has shown that an operation’s effectiveness critically depends on its people’s satisfaction. Additionally, a collaborative and rewarding environment is necessary to recruit and retain the best talent. Employees who don’t feel they are benefitting from their jobs will leave.
Yet leadership anger is still a pressing issue. Consistent anger causes people to resent their leader deeply. They will likely respond with their own version of anger, and like their leader, it may be delayed or immediate. Angry employees bring many debilitations to the organization. One of the most critical is a lack of trust in their leader. Their respect and loyalty are tossed in the waste basket.
With employee distrust comes many calamities: disengagement, apathy, a lack of incentive, and poor performance. A leader’s anger generates a toxic culture that can only spiral downward. A leader with a reputation for consistent anger develops a bad reputation, not only internally but out on the street. Career prospects for a leader prone to anger are short and painful. Fortunately, leaders can rectify anger issues and turn their culture around.
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Recognize an Anger Problem
As with any personality issue, recognition is the most critical step toward dealing with it. As speaker and author Antonio Nerves describes in an article for Inc., leaders prone to anger must realize this is their tendency. The counsel of a trusted colleague or qualified executive coach may be needed to bring this issue to light. If an employee is brave enough to approach this subject with you, it will benefit you to listen to them.
Your response to the description of an anger issue is key. Leaders who deny their anger cannot be helped. They will continue their descent into an ever-worsening toxic culture. Since one of the key responsibilities of leadership is to enhance and compel people’s efforts, a leader who denies their anger tendencies is not fit to lead. Similarly, distrust of pointed counsel from helpful resources impairs leadership ability.
A leader who agrees that they have an anger issue, as advised by trusted counsel, can take various paths. Although agreeing to this assessment is important, the response and follow-up differentiate between resolution and perpetuation.
Agreeing to the issue but conceding that it’s acceptable is not a solution. This old-school mentality is flawed and drives the toxicity of the culture. A leader who believes anger is a legitimate way to get what they want is certain to fail.
Agreeing to the problem but dismissing its seriousness is also not a solution. Executive coaches can help reveal what is happening to the culture and the people because of the leader’s anger. Quantitative evidence of inefficiencies, turnover, lack of productivity, conflicts, or costly mistakes is a powerful testimony to the seriousness of a leader’s anger.
A solution is possible only when a leader acknowledges the anger problem and commits to resolving it. Accepting the reality as described takes courage. The best leaders acknowledge weaknesses. They don’t hide from them or repress them in an attempt to protect their ego or reputation. They accept them, learn from them, and set up a system of accountability to work through them. Great leaders enhance their reputations by being dedicated and transparent in their decisions to resolve their issues.
Make an earnest attempt to understand where your anger originates. Could it be a result of insecurity, intolerance, perfectionism, a control issue, pride, or fear? Without delving into deep psychology, allow an executive coach to assess your personality to reveal a logical source. This allows your continued awareness to focus on an identified tendency, and you can track your progress in defeating its influence. Troubles have significantly less impact if they are identified, understood, and prevented.
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Resolve Anger Effectively
Once an anger issue is recognized, an approach to diffuse it can be created. A leader’s personality and emotional needs determine the best means to manage it. The key is not to ignore it or repress it: two methods many leaders have unfortunately been taught.
As with any disorder generally defined as a challenging personality trait that causes difficulty, anger that is ignored grows worse. Ignoring the problem certainly makes for less work, at least for the short term, but this eventually creates more serious problems than the initial anger displays.
Repressing anger also yields no resolution. Stuffing angry feelings can take two different tracks for the leader. It often creates internal pressure that eventually needs to blow, sometimes physiologically. Heart and brain function are put under stress, leading to possible heart attacks, panic attacks, high blood pressure, nervous breakdowns, or fainting. Prolonged stress of this type takes its toll on life longevity. No leader would agree that any situation at work is worth this kind of risk to health.
Another effect of repressing anger is more subtle but damaging nonetheless. Holding in anger is counter to natural emotional release. Over time, repression can cause fatigue, burnout, depression, and even physical illness. Potential side effects include migraines, indigestion, susceptibility to colds and flu, loss of appetite and weight loss, and disorientation. Such deterioration is certainly not worth the attempt to repress anger and pretend things don’t bother you.
Genuine anger management is work. It takes a focused effort and continuous determination to break an anger habit. It helps to recognize that there is nothing wrong with anger. It is a normal emotion that everyone experiences in some way. Overcoming an anger issue is challenging when going it alone. Most leaders find the assistance and encouragement of a qualified executive coach invaluable.
Anger is best resolved by recognizing when it’s happening. A leader who can discern the onset of anger and step back to reflect on its presence has the best chance of dealing with it in a healthy way. Learn your trigger points. Being familiar with your emotional patterns can prepare you for the next time and help you apply the necessary filters to avoid getting upset. Training your mind to anticipate and disarm what once enflamed you is a powerful tool.
Awareness of an anger-instigating threat is also helpful in slowing your responses down. Learn to pause and assess your feelings, as BodeTree CEO Chris Meyers encourages in a Forbes article. Take a deep breath and use more of the logical, trouble-shooting part of your mind. Anger can be expressed calmly with great effect. Your message can still be delivered with firmness but under control. This gains respect and trust.
Another successful approach is learning to substitute negative feelings with positive ones. This is not repression but rather mastering control over negative feelings. Expert business coach Marshall Goldsmith summarizes this technique in a Harvard Business Review article. He encourages leaders to reject the negativity of anger and not allow themselves to be defeated by this threat.
Make a choice not to let anger get the best of you. You can still be angry, but do not let it get out of hand. Dismissing the anger leaves room for a more positive feeling to take its place.
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