Feeling stuck, stalled, or just flat out overlooked or ignored. Not a good feeling.
Frustrating, & maybe even overwhelming.
How about being isolated; ever feel that way – that you’re all alone?
Like it’s you against………everybody????
Climbing uphill, all the time?
Fighting with 1 hand tied behind your back?
But at the same time knowing that you are doing the right things, saying the right words, fighting the good fights. You believe in yourself, that’s not the problem.
If only somebody would listen. If only somebody could see your strength, positivity, positive influence, & actually listen to you. If only they would realize the value in what you are doing, & realize that you actually might be onto something & also that you could probably be a major help to them.
Maybe even buy in a little & help you get your point across, or better yet help you climb that mountain. Then we’d be onto something. Really onto something.
If only you could make them listen……
Notice a common word so far? LISTEN.
So you want people to listen to you. You have something valuable to share, something that others could see as valuable. Problem is you’re feeling stuck because you don’t feel like you have the support needed.
Want to fix it? Try collaborating with your people, with your team, with your organization. Instead of feeling stuck, unheard, unnoticed, unappreciated, open up the floor to those around you & watch how quickly that’ll change, how quickly you’ll feel validated, & how much more improvement you’ll notice in your day to day (& those on your team or in your organization).
Collaboration, with your trusted people or with your team, will more than likely help you improve in your day to day processes, & here’s how:
Keep Growing, Keep Learning, Keep Showing Up!
Whenever you have the opportunity to learn from someone who is an authority figure or an expert in their field I’d imagine that you jump at the chance. Those are often the obvious moments of self-improvement.
Let’s say that you are coaching your son’s Rec League soccer team. You played a little growing up & in High-School but you are far from an expert. Now, the local Rec League needed coaches, so you volunteered to coach the team so that your son & his friends could play.
The Administration from the League decides to hold a few coaching clinics for their coaches that will feature some professional & NCAA coaches. True professional soccer coaches. Wouldn’t you take advantage of the opportunity to learn from some coaches who do it full-time? Who are authority figures & experts on coaching the game?
No brainer, right? Learn from somebody who is more of an authority figure on the topic than you are whenever you have the chance. This is the simplest form of collaboration.
Let’s now take a similar analogy to the professional world. You’re climbing the corporate ladder quickly, making all the right moves, connecting with the right people, impressing the bosses. Now the company offers some seminars for their employees, aimed at those of you who are steadily climbing the leadership ladder to the top, to the C-suite.
The speakers they are bringing in aren’t necessarily “ahead” of you on your rise, but they do have more experience. They’ve been around a little longer, faced a few more challenges, & for the most part they’ve successfully navigated the corporate food chain.
Well you attend unapologetically so that you can steal intel from some of the experiences they’ll discuss. So you can gain from others experience & perhaps turn it to your advantage. Again, collaboration.
Either way here – learning from those who are more authoritative or more experienced on the topic – you’ll benefit.
You’ll learn.
You’ll grow.
You’ll improve.
This is the most generic form of collaboration – you, as the “student” are collaborating with the presenter. You’re actively learning something new from someone else whether it’s from their experience or their knowledge.
These are the types of people most of us want to surround ourselves with!
Those on both the learning side (wanting to improve, trying to get better), & the “teaching” side (willing to share knowledge & experience). Whichever category you fall into I can confidently tell you that most times you involve yourself in this type of collaboration you’ll walk away feeling better about yourself, but also walk away a little better than you were beforehand.
Family-Run Business
So if being around those who make you feel better is a positive, why not try to surround yourself with these people all the time?
Why not try to create an atmosphere that makes you feel better all the time?
Sounds great, doesn’t it?
One of the quickest & most effective ways to surround yourself with these types of people, in this type of atmosphere, is to create a collaborative environment that encourages & rewards those who are willing to work together, to share, & to collaborate together in a team atmosphere from the top to the bottom, but also from the bottom to the top.
I’ve spent a great deal of time in my life in a team setting. My past career (30 years) as a Lacrosse Coach taught me many invaluable lessons which I carry with me daily.
One of the best lessons, if not the best lesson, I learned as a Lacrosse Coach is the power of empowering your people & not only allowing them the opportunity to collaborate, but actually encouraging them to actively participate in team collaboration. To provide each individual value in a team setting.
Get In Touch With JP
Prior to his time with Kashbox, JP spent 28 years as an NCAA Lacrosse Coach (22 years as a Head Coach). During that span, JP had the opportunity to coach with & against some of the top lacrosse coaches in the country.
We all know the power behind teamwork.
Together we can accomplish more, right?
At least that’s what we’ve been told, that’s what many of our “old-school” Coaches taught us.
But ever stop & analyze how dangerously toxic the power behind a broken, fractured team can be?
Ever been a part of a team or organization that is so shaky, so wobbly it becomes out of control & is just a crash waiting to happen?
You see, not only can the power of teamwork be extremely uplifting in a positive way but it can also be horribly detrimental in a negative way if the collaboration is used against itself. But there is a simple solution, & I’m pretty sure I stumbled onto it along the way in my 30+ years in Athletics…….
A few years back (who’s counting?) I stumbled upon a Coaching philosophy that I quickly copy-catted. I began to describe, both externally but more importantly internally, our program as a Family-run business.
I talked with my players about it, I talked with my staff about it, I spoke to colleagues about it, recruits, families, friends, & strangers. Everyone within shouting distance heard how we ran our lacrosse program like a Family-run business.
Well, it turned out to be one of the best things I ever did for our program, & unknowingly at the time it was the biggest step towards true collaboration that I ever implemented as a Head Coach.
Here’s how it works (feel free to replace my example of a lacrosse team with any organization, team, or family you are associated with):
1st: we cultivated an environment where we started by putting our people (in this case our players, coaches, & support staff) 1st. Always! Non-negotiable.
2nd: we actively & aggressively encouraged, supported, & almost demanded that we all learn how to care about each other, & that everyone in turn put their team mates 1st. Our message was simple: if you have a group of people who care about each other then together you can accomplish & overcome anything thrown your way.
3rd: everyone has a job to do, & they are all important. Each individual needs the other individuals to do their jobs, & each player, coach, staff member recognizes that every job is important – it may be a different job than your job, but it is important, vital even, to the success of the team.
In simple terms a players job is very different from a Coaches job, but they are both very important nonetheless. Without the players doing their jobs the Coaches wouldn’t be as effective. Without the Coaches doing their jobs, then the players wouldn’t be as successful as possible.
It’s a never-ending cycle.
The players’ jobs were all very important, yet all very different. Our Seniors had very different jobs than our Freshmen. But without the Senior doing his job to the best of his ability the Freshman would suffer. On the same hand, if the Freshman didn’t do his job then the Senior would suffer. So we created an atmosphere that put true value on everyone’s job, regardless of position, title, depth-chart status, etc. We emphasized the importance of doing your job – not just for yourself, but for those who cared about you & for those (other members of our program) who relied on you.
We constantly emphasized to the guys that if the Coaches didn’t do their jobs, then the players would negatively feel the effects. Likewise, if the players didn’t do their jobs then the Coaches felt the effects. You can go on & on here in a lacrosse setting: if the offense didn’t do their job then the defense would suffer, etc, etc.
The analogy that made the most sense to us, & that we used the most was that if the business owner did his job, paid all the bills, made sure the lights came on, had the store ready to open on time, but his cashier didn’t show up for work then the owner would be in a bad spot. He would either have to make a staffing adjustment, or worse not open the store that day, & everyone involved in the business would lose out on a day’s work, a day’s profit.
Flip side: if the cashier showed up to work on time, but the owner hadn’t paid the electric bill & the power was shut off…… .Well, the store couldn’t open that day & the cashier would be out of a day’s wages.
You see, both jobs are very different, but they are both very important. & most importantly each person (the business owner & the cashier) need each other to be successful.
So just because your job is different from your team mates job does not mean it’s any more or less important. In a team setting, in this day & age, we found this to be incredibly powerful because our players with less of an on-field role on Gameday were looked at as important people in our process where in some team locker rooms those players were simply afterthoughts.
This was collaboration at its best: recognizing & realizing the value of those around you so that ALL of you could have the best chance for success as possible.
Adversity is Not Routine, but you Can Make Overcoming it Routine
So hopefully we now see how collaboration can make you better, make you more successful, & make the process of getting to where you’re going more fluid & enjoyable.
Now let’s shift our focus a little & analyze how collaboration can get you through the tough times, because inevitably we’ll all have tough times to challenge us. The key is navigating, overcoming, & flat out beating those tough times.
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So many of us (I know I’m guilty of this, well maybe very guilty) want to circle the wagons, shut the doors, & pull the blinds down when the going gets tough.
We want to face adversity, struggle a little, fight adversity, on our own.
Stubborn, bull-headed, ignorant maybe?
Call it what you will, but yes many of us, myself included, tend to go it alone when faced with adversity, challenges, & especially hardships. For me it’s a natural inclination that I’ve recognized as a weakness, & I’ve tried very hard to change this mentality.
When I have decided to reach out, to trust my circle, to ask for help…… .TO COLLABORATE with others I’ve found that I find better answers, I find good solutions, & I also find different ideas, opinions, & viewpoints to compare / contrast with my own thinking.
As much as I like to think I’m right all the time, I know that I’m not. Collaborating with others, giving yourself the opportunity to compare & contrast possible solutions, never hurts.
After all, if you don’t like someone else’s advice you certainly don’t have to use it, do you? As a matter of fact even the most polar-opposite viewpoint can bring positive insights, debates, & analysis to the table for you.
Just because somebody presents a view that is opposite of your own does not mean that you can’t use that viewpoint to spark curiosity or to kickstart a thought process that you wouldn’t have necessarily thought of before. Regardless, you’ll more than likely come out better just for sharing some thoughts, ideas, & inputs from others.
How do you do it?
Not a natural fit for you to collaborate with others (don’t like sharing the sandbox on the playground, huh?). That’s OK. Just like in most other things – practice!!!
That’s right. Practice collaboration!
How do I do that, you want to know? Start simple, start small. At home are you the type of person who has to have everything done just the exact way you want it done?
Well, as painful as it might be, why don’t you start by letting your teenage daughter be in charge of the nightly kitchen clean up (you can always finish wiping the crumbs away after she goes to bed). At work, do you absolutely, positively know that you’re the only one who can complete the task at hand the right way?
Well, again be ready to take a painful medicine here, but why don’t you start by letting your assistant take the responsibility of booking the client’s schedules for you? Still struggling with delegation – maybe you should try working, as cohesively as possible, with someone who is the exact opposite as yourself.
As difficult as it might be at first, give it some time to resonate, give it a true chance. At the very least you’ll see & experience things from a different perspective. Who knows, maybe it will even open up your eyes to a new method or methodology.
Ask opinions from the folks you’ve delegated to.
Ask opinions from your opposite.
Again, seeking out different opinions, different viewpoints can only make you stronger, & help you grow, in the long run.
The Finish Line: Did We Work Together?
So you’ve taken a deep dive into the art of collaboration.
You’ve seen how being a student, a learner, is a form of collaboration whether learning from someone with more knowledge or experience, or both.
That teacher who is sharing his or her knowledge also shows us what collaboration looks like.
A Family-run business model could work well for your team or organization; just start by creating a culture based on a group of people who care about each other.
Finally, don’t shy away from collaboration as a tool to overcome hardship & adversity; don’t try to go it alone! Collaboration, with practice, will open up more doors for you to learn, teach, surround yourself with the right people, & overcome adversity than any of us can do on our own.
Good luck out there; remember there’s strength in numbers!!!
Along with his responsibilities as an NCAA Coach, JP has also been a small-business owner for the past 22 years. He founded & built a successful lacrosse camp business that, in addition to camps, expanded into travel teams, clinics, lessons, & consultations.
In both of his careers as an NCAA Coach & small-business owner, JP has helped to teach, coach, mentor, & develop hundreds of players & coaches.
