Who are your favorite clients to work with?
For me it’s ideal, rewarding, & fun to work & collaborate with a client who is truly attempting, every day, to better themselves. Now that daily improvement can & does look different for everyone, & there are different processes to everyone’s journey, but the clients who are diligent in their efforts to make daily improvements are the best to work with.
It’s easy to put improvement on the shelf, out of view for times, but that usually doesn’t equate to much progress.
It’s tough to make as much progress when you aren’t constantly on the hunt for improvement.
The folks who constantly have that at the top of mind (or on top of their daily to-do list) usually make steady progress, & I really enjoy seeing that constant effort rewarded over time.
It’s kinda like getting into the weight room – if you hit the gym daily your progress will usually reflect that over a period of time. If you only hit the gym once or twice a week it’ll be a lot tougher to see that gradual improvement over time.
Another ideal client characteristic is someone who realizes that they shouldn’t wait until it’s too late to start making positive momentum changes in their life. I recently read a piece about a person receiving an ultimatum on their death, & how they would handle their last few days on Earth.
The retort to this dilemma was that we ALL have an expiration date, it’s only a matter of when, not if. So why don’t we all value our remaining time & embrace the time we have, every day, to make the most of what we have left.
I know I don’t want to wait until I retire or until I’m older to get better in my processes, habits, & practices.
I want to make positive momentum changes in my life NOW, every day, so that I enjoy tomorrow more than I did yesterday, & so that I’m constantly improving.
These are the types of mindsets I enjoy working with the most.
Finally, I love working with folks who embrace change. It’s one thing to talk about change or to realize that change is part of reality, but the clients who truly embrace that change are really cool to work with.
Change happens every single day, every single hour, etc, etc.
The sun rises a little earlier or later (depending on the time of year) tomorrow than it did today. To embrace that change is difficult though. Human nature, many times, gets into a comfort zone for many of us.
We get used to our routines, to the rhythms of our day. It feels comfortable, easy. But embracing, or holding closely, change…..not easy. But those who truly do hold change close to them find that they adapt quicker than most, that they are more adaptable to more types of scenarios (both pleasant & difficult), & also find that speedbumps don’t jar them off course quite as much.
This quality within a client makes it a fun client to collaborate with.
How can I be a better listener today?
This is a really, really good question; a question that if I’m asked I know that the client & I will be talking the same language sooner rather than later. Listening is probably one of the most difficult skills someone can learn, but it is also one of the most valuable skills there is. I know for me I had to learn how to listen. I used to think that I listened, but the longer I coached & the more experience I gained the more I realized how much I needed to improve my listening.
Get In Touch With JP
Prior to his time with Kashbox, JP spent 28 years as an NCAA Lacrosse Coach (22 years as a Head Coach). During that span, JP had the opportunity to coach with & against some of the top lacrosse coaches in the country.
I think you need to start by truly hearing the words, expressions, & tone that the person you are listening to is using. Not your words, not how you perceive their words, but what it is that they are actually saying to you. Not your interpretations either. Attempting, trying your hardest, to fully understand what that person is trying to say, what they are thinking, feeling, and experiencing in that conversation. Again, what they are expressing, not what you are interpreting.
If you aren’t exactly picking up what they are putting down then ask!!! I don’t feel like asking questions to make sure you are fully understanding is a bad thing at all. Many times questions spark a new dialogue, or better yet, spark a new thought process within the person you are listening to. If you are creating a new thought process in someone through your listening / asking questions habit then you are doing them a tremendous service. When you really, honestly listen to someone you’ll make them feel special – that someone is actually caring enough to give them the space to express themselves. Sometimes, many times, that’s all a person needs.
By learning how to listen – by working on improving your listening you will build trust. Building trust will strengthen your relationship. A stronger relationship will create an environment where people will thrive. Strong listening skills (& it is a skill) shows that you care, & that you value their thoughts & perspective. It’s a skill that helps you support others.
How can I be a better team mate?
Being part of a team is so valuable & so important in life. While so much of the world is focused on the individual needs these days it becomes easy to overlook, & sometimes even forget about, being a part of a team. Whether we recognize it or not we are all part of a team in some way, shape, or form. You work alone you say? You completely independent with nobody to depend on or nobody relying on you? Only need to worry about yourself? Well, did you drive anywhere today? Did you stand in line at the store? Have a family? A job? See what I’m getting at here? We’re all part of a team somehow – from driving down the street & needing to obey safety laws & coexist with your fellow drivers to being a part of a family we all have teams that we need to be a part of, so becoming a better team mate is a very, very important trait, & there are always ways to improve on it.
I’m reminded all the time how valuable it is to be a part of a team. It is so valuable to learn how to work together, fight through adversity, & achieve common goals because of the connectivity of a quality team. One of the beautiful things about being a great team mate is that it is within your control. Nobody can ever dictate to you what type of a team mate you are! Nobody can control your own actions, behaviors, & attitudes. Let’s look at a couple quick, easy ways to better yourself as a team mate:
Put others 1st. Simple as that, & the best way to become a great team mate. Selflessness is a very rare quality to have, but if you start by simply putting your team mates wants, needs, processes, & successes before yours then you’ll quickly be viewed as a great team mate. On the athletic field be the one who makes the selfless, often un-noticed plays. Be the one who picks up the dirty laundry in the locker room. Be the one who is 1st to the locker room & who makes sure all team members are accounted for that day. Step up & take care of the little things that the veteran players don’t have the patience for. Ask the team leaders what you can do to help make them better that day. It might not be glamorous, but it will be respected by other members of the team. Soon enough, other members of the team will start to rely on your contributions behind the scenes, & the admiration from your team will shower down on you.
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Celebrate others. Of course this is a form of putting others 1st, but such a great way to become a great team mate. Who doesn’t like it when their successes get positive feedback? Be that one who is always championing for your team mates when they find success.
Show them that you care. At home don’t just respect & follow the rules of Mom & Dad. Be respectful of the tiny things that your brothers & sisters find important. Is your sister’s favorite drink apple juice? Maybe when you drink the last bit of apple juice one morning you go to the store & replace it so she’ll have some when she opens the fridge. I bet a small action like this will have a snowball effect & will come back to you at some point.
There are teams everywhere – not necessarily just on the playing field or at the office. Look for your team today, & ask yourself how you can add value to that team. What can I do to help the team today? What can I do to be the best team mate possible? Not only will your team & team mates benefit, but you will too!
What can I do to improve as a leader within my organization?
But I’m not the leader you say? No leadership role at home or at work? No leadership role in life in general? One of my favorite podcasts “The Daily Coach” always ends with a quote that I absolutely love: “Remember the most important person you’ll ever lead is yourself. Keep growing, keep learning, & most importantly keep showing up.”
Leadership can happen from any position within your family, team, or organization. It doesn’t always have to happen from the “leader”, head of the household, Head Coach, or CEO. The best teams & organizations have great Leadership up top, yes. But they also have great leadership from all their individuals, & many times those individuals can lead from colleague to colleague as well as leading up team mate to team mate. Make a difference in your family or organization today by being the best leader you can be in whatever role you are currently playing!
Great leaders are humble. If you’ve ever known someone who is all about themselves then you know how tough it is to be around them. Worse, if you’ve ever worked with someone like this, who’s narcissistic even, then you know how difficult it makes your job. Show humility & you’ll become a better leader.
Great leaders are learners. That’s right, the best leaders don’t know everything, & better yet they outwardly admit they have lots to learn. The best leaders learn from within their own teams & organizations. Open a book, listen to a podcast, attend a seminar…..to become better at your craft, & you’ll be a better leader.
Great leaders show empathy. True caring for others. Someone you know at work going through a tough time? A great leader will put that person 1st, show empathy, & truly try to be there for them.
Great leaders take care of the details. The little things add up to big things. Great leaders get this, & focus on the minutiae.
Great leaders don’t get caught up in that which they don’t control. Have you ever seen a great leader have a meltdown when the weather turns bad? I didn’t think so.
What can I expect for a coaching session with you, & what can I expect from the coaching relationship?
So if you’re still reading – congratulations. You’re almost done, & I appreciate you. Out of appreciation I’ll keep this one short & sweet:
As a Coaching client you can expect the following from me:
● You, the client, are the most important person in this relationship; as your Coach I’ll put you 1st. All the time.
● Honesty. I believe in being up front (sometimes blunt), & will always give you my honest opinions & feedback. Nobody gets any better at anything without open, honest feedback.
● I pride myself in listening to my clients & what they need. Without great listening the Coaching relationship wouldn’t work well.
● Communication. Great communication is the key to moving forward on any journey.
● Attention to detail. I strongly believe in taking care of the details so you don’t have to.
● Humility. I’m proud & humbled to serve others, & as a client I aim to show you this.
● Collaboration. We’re in this together. You won’t get any better if I don’t do my job, & I won’t be doing you any good if I don’t know what it is you need from me. By collaborating & working together we’ll both get better & learn something new along the way!
A typical Coaching session with me will look like:
● That depends on you & what an ideal session looks like for you, but I promise to keep you on your toes, to keep you moving forward, & to keep you engaged in the process each step of the way!
Until next time, over & out…..
Along with his responsibilities as an NCAA Coach, JP has also been a small-business owner for the past 22 years. He founded & built a successful lacrosse camp business that, in addition to camps, expanded into travel teams, clinics, lessons, & consultations.
In both of his careers as an NCAA Coach & small-business owner, JP has helped to teach, coach, mentor, & develop hundreds of players & coaches.
