Kashbox Coach Note: Leadership Development
As a leader, you have lots of things in motion, and your people have more than ever on their plates. Managing your team is enough of a challenge when dealing with the big picture.
But numerous details also need specific attention. You know many of them pertain to certain individuals, and the only effective way to manage these is one-on-one. This aspect of leadership makes administrators uneasy, if not fearful. Does this resonate with you?
Many leaders dread or avoid one-on-one meetings because they are viewed as uncontrollable, unpredictable, or risky. They seem to require an almost perfect use of soft skills and techniques and swing with as much variation as the personalities with whom you’re meeting.
These ideas stem from a lack of training in the leadership skills needed to conduct beneficial one-on-one discussions. Great leaders know it pays to learn these skills because one-on-one meetings are necessary. Your role will eventually be significantly compromised if you struggle with these personal encounters. This is detrimental to everyone, and where leadership development programs can change the trajectory of a career.
Fortunately, strategies and methods are available to help you overcome these concerns and excel at one-on-one meetings. When you do, you and your people benefit greatly, and you’ll find these types of meetings to be the most powerful and satisfying tool in your arsenal.
One-on-One Meeting Purpose
Managing the activities under your authority creates many reasons for meeting with people individually. Some are vital to the administration of ongoing work, others are important to address issues of concern, and yet others are advantageous to maintaining engaging leadership.
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One-on-ones are needed for a variety of reasons:
- Assignment updates
- Addressing project issues
- Opportunities for your people
- Discovering their needs
- Performance appraisal
- Mentoring or coaching
- Engagement and relationship-building
- Addressing personal issues
One-on-One Meeting Policy
One-on-one meetings are a significant part of your leadership development portfolio, but you don’t want them to carry a stigma that signals trouble or concern. Integrate them into your policy as a regular part of the administration. Be clear that everyone gets to have them with you. No one is placed in a dubious category by meeting with the leader privately. Making the meetings a positive aspect of your team process eliminates the fear or awkwardness of calling them.
Stress the importance and benefit of this tool to your staff. The team operates at a higher level, and each person’s job is more rewarding. Everyone will appreciate it.
Make it clear that the policy works both ways. Your door is open to those who want to talk. Any subject is fair game. If you aren’t available at request, schedule a get-together as soon as possible. Attending to your people’s needs will build trust and respect.
One-on-One Meeting Planning
Due to their nature, one-on-one meetings are special and must be conducted with special regard. They are personal appointments designed to benefit both a working and personal relationship and are customized for the circumstances.
Choose a setting appropriate for the individual. Your office may be best, or if you’re working with a lower-level manager, their office. Another room or area on the campus may work well. Wherever it is, your attention needs to be undivided and focused on your employees to attain an effective level of trust.
Scheduling the meeting with your employees signals that you value their time and attention and allows you to secure the proper setting.
Plan an agenda ahead of time and stick to it to cover the needed topics. Respect the employee’s time by keeping the conversation relevant and work-related. The chitchat should be minimal—a groundbreaker only.
For duty-related topics, share the agenda in time for the employee to prepare. You may want some materials that take time to assemble, or you may want a decision that requires careful thought.
However, discussing a troubling personal issue generally does not benefit from a pre-announced agenda. In this case, advanced notice can cause misunderstandings and undue stress. Conversely, unplanned discussions about the employee’s performance or personal issues can feel like a surprise attack. Weigh these factors carefully.
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The Right Technique
How you conduct a private meeting is as critical as what you cover. Perhaps the most important guideline is to communicate clearly. John Maxwell consistently expresses this point in his books, particularly The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader (Thomas Nelson, 1999). Verify with your employee that you are understood.
Guide the conversation, but don’t rule it. Intent listening and acknowledgment are important communication methods. Pause to respond, doing it calmly yet confidently. All of these show respect and consideration.
Being a good observer will help you connect better with your employees. Note their body language. Gauge their responses, questions, and tone of voice. Measure your interaction accordingly to provide helpful nudges but not harmful shoves.
Be aware of your style and approach. Your eye contact and tone establish the proper sincerity. Gestures and volume should be low-key, and your body language should be engaging, not disinterested. Resist blaming or getting upset. You won’t get the most out of your meeting if you’re unaware.
Provide positive feedback, which can also be integrated into constructive criticism. In a December 2013 Harvard Business School article, Michael Blanding observes that we generally focus more on negative comments than positive. We take them personally, and sense a threat. Therefore, make suggestions positive, effective, and helpful, especially if they are corrective. Working one-on-one with a leadership development coach can help gain and practice the skills needed for running a great meeting.
The Difficult Conversation
The toughest challenge is the meeting to discuss a personal issue causing problems. Don’t shy away from hard topics; pursue them with fairness, frankness, and firmness. Express the expectations for performance or behavior—your personal and organizational expectations. This won’t be effective unless you exemplify them yourself. Leadership development skills are vital to success as a leader.
Never threaten people; rather, offer insight, help, or solutions. Ask the employee to contribute his or her ideas. Communicate empathically. See the person over the circumstance, as Maxwell teaches. Try to grasp their perspective and show you believe in them.
Ultimately, you want to reach a resolution or agreement. Follow-up is key. Make it a point to continue touching base while monitoring progress. Clarify any misunderstandings you perceive as you move forward.
Conquering the fear of one-on-one meetings will test you, but the rewards are a healthier, more effective team and more prosperous, satisfying leadership for yourself.
Creator of the KASHBOX: Knowledge, Attitude, Skills, Habits
Helping You Realize Your Potential
I help people discover their potential, expand and develop the skills and attitudes necessary to achieve a higher degree of personal and professional success and create a plan that enables them to balance the profit motives of their business with the personal motives of their lives.
