Change is hard. Uncomfortable for most. We all develop habits, practices, & a rhythm that we can lean on. Routines for many are comfortable, reassuring even. Myself included.
I gotta admit – I love routine. I love it when I find good habits & practices that make things better for me, sometimes easier, & even better that help me get into a daily rhythm that works. When I find those I tend to lean on them & rely on them, especially if I find that they work. I’ve come to realize that while this can be a positive, it can also work as a negative if one allows it.
At home I’ve found over the years that if I don’t change, adjust, & adapt that not only will I suffer but my daughters will also. I consider myself one of the lucky ones at home – I’ve been fortunate to have the best 3 daughters anyone could ever hope for. I’ve been by their side (& they’ve been by mine) since birth, & I’m now so proud to see them embark on College & University journeys, High-School graduations, & the beginning stages of adulthood. If I don’t constantly work to change & adapt as a Dad then there is no way that I can keep up. My girls are now in their late teens & early 20’s (yikes). If I still parented them as I did when they were in their early teens that just wouldn’t work. If I still parented them, or treated my role as Dad, the same way I did when they were in Elementary School, well…….we all know that wouldn’t be helpful to them (or me), so I’ve adapted over the years. At times it’s been tough, but I’ve embraced change as a Dad so that I can be the best version of Dad possible.
I had a job once that I used to describe as my “Dream job.” Slowly, but surely, however that dream job turned into more of a shitshow than I cared to admit. I pressed on, probably for a few years too many than I should have (hindsight / foresight) basically lying to myself about the positives of sticking with the position despite not believing in the cause, in the integrity, in the direction, in the leadership of the organization. Finally, I was forced into a situation where I left the job behind not knowing what would happen. Almost immediately a weight lifted off my shoulders & a peace came over me that I had no idea was even there. As soon as I began to realize the positives of leaving the position behind it was kinda like a whole new world opened up to me…..for the better. In hindsight I wish I had left the job behind earlier. Without that change I wouldn’t have become a better Dad, person, & entrepreneur.
How many of us stick with relationships that are unwell & toxic? This happens all the time in marriages, partnerships, friendships, & work relationships. Sometimes a change in our relationships is needed so that we can truly max out our own lives.
How about in the community, in the world we live in? Everyone has differing views politically, but how much better could the nation be if we had more legitimate options to consider than just the traditional Democratic & Republican parties. While uncomfortable for most, a change here could at least give many disgruntled citizens more options to learn about & to consider.
Too often people in many different areas of their lives avoid change because things are just simpler when they stay the same; it’s easier to keep the status quo. It’s easy & comfortable to keep things the same, it’s easy to keep the same routines, & it’s easy to continue doing things the same way we learned them originally.
It ain’t Easy
I’m not here today to argue whether certain types of change are positive or negative in your life. That’s for you to determine for yourself. But I am here to encourage you to embrace change. Embracing change (a Kashbox Coaching core principle) may not be easy, but it will set the stage for you to make positive alterations in your world.
Change isn’t easy, especially when one is comfortable with their current situation. Change will require adjustments, & sometimes adjustments can be difficult. But in the same breath, sometimes adjusting is a positive. Coming back to the example above of my daughters:
- When my daughters were babies I focused on how to raise & care for infants. A lot of my time was spent learning how to feed them safely, bathe them, & clean up after them
- As they grew older my focus shifted towards teaching them some life lessons. If I had stayed in the “infant” phase they would have been behind the other kids.
- When they neared their teenage years some of my focus shifted towards the self-care that I knew they would need as they started spending more & more time around friends & others their age. Again, without making an adjustment as a Dad I would have done them a huge disservice by not preparing them for the “real world”.
Far too many times we avoid change because we are scared. Fear can do many things to us, & one of those is to force us to avoid that which scares us. Rather than hide from change (or your fears) though, I’d encourage you to try to flip your mindset into an “embrace change” attitude. Keep in mind that there is hardly anything that can get accomplished WITHOUT change.
Get In Touch With JP
Prior to his time with Kashbox, JP spent 28 years as an NCAA Lacrosse Coach (22 years as a Head Coach). During that span, JP had the opportunity to coach with & against some of the top lacrosse coaches in the country.
If you are looking for ways to embrace change there are a couple of tricks you can use which you may find useful:
- Alter your wording & the way you talk about change. A simple change in language can have positive, lasting effects on most things you do.
- Practice change.
Practicing change can be as easy as switching up your regular routines on purpose. Maybe your morning routine has you hitting the ground running by starting your day with the newspaper & a coffee. To practice change & adjustment in your life maybe you try to hit the gym 1st before having your coffee & paper. If you want to challenge yourself a little more maybe take the daily routine that you’ve grown accustomed to at the gym & completely switch it up. If your Monday / Wednesday / Friday routine is strength-based workouts while your Tuesday / Thursday routine is movement & cardio-based, perhaps you switch up your days. Perhaps you switch up the types of exercises you are doing. Perhaps it’s the amount of sets or reps that you alter. Whatever it is, you can practice change by making yourself do some things within your world a little differently than you’ve grown accustomed to. As a simple example:
- I normally use locker #85 at my gym each morning. I’ve grown used to it, & in an automatic rhythm each morning I walk straight to the same locker, unload my extra gear, & head out for my morning workout. Well, to practice change, this morning I switched things up & used locker #82 instead. Very minor change, but it still made me think just a little differently. After my workout my auto-pilot mind wanted to walk straight to the same old locker to gather up my gear, but instead I reminded myself to head a little to the left instead.
Small, simple practices like this help me adopt more of an “Embrace Change” mindset, & in these small moments sometimes I learn that change ain’t necessarily that bad.
Worth it though
Once you’ve established that you can embrace change then you are ready for growth, because change is the opportunity for growth. Don’t concern yourself with what the change is, whether it’s positive or negative. Just focus on embracing it, because that is what life really comes down to – changing.
How to Read to Lead
In Today’s Fast-paced World, It’s Not Enough To Simply Have Information At Your Fingertips.
Uncover how to use the secret weapon of elite leaders.
If we don’t adapt we die. Same goes for change; if we don’t change then we grow complacent. Complacency can & does lead to many negative things. Others catch up & eventually overtake you. You weaken & eventually will falter. You get stuck in neutral, & we all know you ain’t getting very far in neutral. It is in our own best self-interest to embrace change. It is also best for those close to us if we embrace change. Finally, it is better for our community, for our world, if & when we change.
Practice makes perfect. So practice! Little things lead to big things. So practice small changes in your world. Simple, small changes (especially to daily routines) can lead you to be more comfortable when big or drastic changes come along.
Don’t fear change! We all tend to avoid things we’re scared of. Instead of running from change, run towards it. Embrace it!
Onward & upward
There is nothing like a sunrise over the Atlantic Ocean. Talk about a way to start a day!!! Same as a sunrise can be inspiring & rejuvenating, change can be an incredibly powerful thing in your life. Not change just for the sake of change, but change for the betterment of your world & of those you care about. In hindsight I truly wish I had embraced change earlier in my professional career. A positive change was something that I now realize I needed….desperately. I know that I can’t go backwards & change things now, so I do my best to focus on the windshield in front of me & what’s to come next. So for me, I now know that I won’t run from change in the future or be frightened by it.
Instead, I’ll look at change as a possible growth opportunity in the future. I hope you’ll do the same!
Along with his responsibilities as an NCAA Coach, JP has also been a small-business owner for the past 22 years. He founded & built a successful lacrosse camp business that, in addition to camps, expanded into travel teams, clinics, lessons, & consultations.
In both of his careers as an NCAA Coach & small-business owner, JP has helped to teach, coach, mentor, & develop hundreds of players & coaches.
