Positive Progress and the Art of Negotiation

How much time and attention do you spend negotiating every day?

Think about it: just getting to your work space requires negotiating activities, meals, and space (think nutrition versus convenience, after-school activities, commuter lanes, etc.) At work we negotiate our way through business deals, customer relations, office politics, and career advancements. Such negotiations often require the agility of Captain America, the stamina of Dean Karnazes, and the wisdom of Yoda.

Ask any experienced parent (or listen to the news) and you’ll hear how playing hardball with threats and bluffs simply does not yield positive progress. However, traditional wisdom that points to a win-win strategic formula of trades and compromises is not without challenges. Of course, most of us are not super-heroes or world class athletes. Positive progress requires mastery in the art of negotiation.

What is the Art of Negotiation?

Negotiation is the process of agreement that takes place between individuals or organizations autonomously (by algorithms or machines) or human interaction (verbal or written dialogue). Generally, the objective is to identify common interests and resolve opposing differences. But as authors Michael Wheeler and Jeff Cummings write in The Art of Negotiation: How to Improvise Agreement in a Chaotic World, “agility is the mark of a master negotiator. Yes, preparation is important, but negotiation is a two-way street.”

Negotiations often break down when people focus on their positions, rather than on legitimate interests. The resulting polarization squelches curiosity, creativity, and compassion. This is often seen in positional bargaining, where egos are hooked, relationships become strained, and neither party is satisfied.

For example, you want your children to eat something healthy for breakfast. You offer an orange, a cup of unsweetened steel-cut oats, and a cup of unsweetened almond milk. They counter that they want sweetened cereal and a glass of sweetened juice. You then drop your offer to half-an orange, three bites of the oats, and no less. One of your children counters with two orange sections. This exchange goes on until you meet in the middle.

The problem with this tactic is that the legitimate interests are not addressed, rather, both parties focus on their position and the compromise does not take into account the needs of either party.

What’s Your Negotiation Style?

Most people have a default negotiation style. Two of the most common are hard-bargaining and win-win.

The underlying motivation in the hard-bargaining style is based on a competitive, zero-sum game, that is to say, if one gains, the other loses. With this style of positional bargaining, there is a winner and a loser of limited resources.

In the win-win style, both parties seek to understand underlying interests and values of the other party. This gentler style is common with friends, family, and those who value relationships. Of course, a hard-bargaining, “muscle, might, or deception” style will dominate a gentler style, and ultimately result in a loss for both parties. Alternatively, a principled negotiation style supports both parties equally.

When both parties seek to meet the legitimate, basic interests of both parties using fair standards, mutually satisfying options are identified and result in a sound agreement. Positions, personalities, and egos are separated from the problem or conflict. Mutual respect is demonstrated with direct, honest, and empathetic communication.

The Art of Principled Negotiation

It’s not easy to change habits and disentangle emotions when negotiating. It may be difficult at first to enlist others in the task of working out a wise solution to a shared problem. Your first goal is to find a better way to negotiate.

In the best-selling book Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In, Roger Fisher, William Ury, and Bruce Patton outline four elements of principled negotiation:

  1. People: Separate the people from the problem.
  2. Interests: Focus on interests, not positions.
  3. Options: Generate a variety of possibilities before deciding what to do.
  4. Criteria: Insist on a result based on an objective standard.

These four elements require skills in analysis, planning, and discussion.

Analysis: Gather and organize information. Identify the outcome (basic need or want) you wish to achieve. Identify the desired outcome for the other party.

For example, if you are negotiating breakfast with your children, you’ll need to specify exactly what you believe to be indicators of nutrition or health. Is it consistent energy until lunch? You may want your children to eat only unprocessed, unsweetened foods, but their nutritional needs may be met with a balance of unprocessed, minimally processed, and naturally sweetened foods. You also need to know what each child wants. Is it something quick, easy, and sweet? This broader perspective differs from trying to convince both children to eat an orange, a cup of unsweetened steel-cut oats, and a cup of unsweetened almond milk. The focus is on outcomes—not positions or specific foods.

In principled negotiations, you’ll want to consider any people problems, partisan perceptions, and unclear communications as you identify others’ needs. Note the options already on the table (i.e., oranges, steel-cut oats, almond milk, sweetened cereal, sweetened juice), and identify any criteria already suggested as a basis for agreement (taste/pleasure, nutritional value, speed/ease, etc.)

Planning: Only after you have thoroughly analyzed legitimate needs, wants, and desired outcomes, generate ideas and decide what to do. Consider these questions:

  1. When people problems arise, how will they be managed?
  2. What are your most important interests (needs, wants)?
  3. What are some realistic objectives?
  4. What are some additional options?
  5. What criteria will be used in decision making?

Discussion:  This is an opportunity to practice curiosity without judgement. Through two-sided, open dialog, both parties explore differences in perception, feelings of frustration and anger, and other factors. Remember to examine all four of the elements: people, interests, options, and criteria. Each side should come to understand the other’s interests. Both can then jointly generate options that are mutually advantageous and seek agreement on objective standards for resolving opposition.

Using our breakfast example, one child may want to skip the meal entirely, while the other wants something sweet. Negotiating a compromise requires family members to examine options that satisfy the group. Ultimately, you may need to create two separate agreements.

This method of reaching agreement considers all parties’ interests and allows you to reach a joint decision without the high costs of positional bargaining.

But what happens when positive progress fails?

When Negotiations Stall

Negotiating is about coping with complexity. To succeed, negotiators must be prepared, but more importantly, they must be prepared to cope with rapid change and mistakes. Agility and curiosity is the best approach.

We often act out of habit, without question. To be sure, it’s difficult to admit our common human condition of thinking we know more than we do. The ego protects itself by gravitating toward feelings of certainty. In that state of mind we’re unlikely to ask questions.

Instead, practice being a good questioner. Recognize your own feelings of discomfort or self-consciousness with not knowing. Ask naïve questions. A beginner’s mind is open to all possibilities while an expert’s is not.

When people do ask questions, they’re often relying on assumptions and biases. Even if you don’t yet know "how," it’s important to ask "why" and "what if" questions. And remember to listen well.

Negotiation is the exploration of the scope of the issues, the best means for resolution, and the nature of your relationship with counterparts. When negotiations stall, you might just need to go back to the exploration stage.

When Negotiations Fail

Negotiations often fail when we cut corners, rush to solutions, and accept proposed solutions—even when our best alternative to a negotiated agreement (BATNA) would have been better. Similarly, failure also occurs when a solution can’t be implemented.

Remember our breakfast example? If you had reached a point of exasperation and said to your children, “eat what I made, or go hungry,” a stalemate would likely ensue. And it’s really no surprise.

According to the Harvard Law School Program on Negotiation, negotiations fail when strong emotions come in to play. Instead of objectively discussing a proposed solution, comparing it to your BATNA, and making a rational choice, threats are issued.

While some critics argue that a BATNA encourages positional bargaining, others point to the objectivity and assurance an alternative provides. A well thought out BATNA, or estimated alternatives to a negotiated agreement (EATNA), increases your confidence, identifies your alternatives, and helps you to recognize subpar and best solutions.

The art of negotiation requires preparation and agility. With practice, you’ll see positive progress while maintaining positive relationships during the process.

Brain Gender: Different, Yet Equal?

Is there really such a thing as brain gender?

In March 2019, researchers attempted to answer this question based on an MRI database of 490 men and 575 women. What they reported was relative to the structural differences between men and women:

“By using the designed 3D PCNN algorithm, we confirmed that the gender-related differences exist in the whole-brain FA images as well as in each specific brain regions. These gender-related brain structural differences might be related to gender differences in cognition, emotional control as well as neurological disorders.”

Their summary supports the theory that there are differences between a male and female brain, and that these differences determine our thinking, feeling, behavior, and psychological health. But, notice the keyword they used: “might.”

Unfortunately, they are not alone. For decades scientists have been pointing to similar findings and analysis, commonly accepted as fact. Consider the differences molecular biologist Dr. John Media describes in Brain Rules (Pear Press, 2008):

  • Men have a bigger amygdala, a structure that processes emotions.
  • The male brain produces serotonin (a neurotransmitter that regulates mood, learning and memory, among other functions) more rapidly than the female brain.
  • Women have larger connectors in the corpus callosum, which links the brain’s right and left hemispheres. (The left hemisphere is thought to be the primary source of neural information for routine tasks. The right deals with novelty and innovation, including experiences and data that are less structured. The right hemisphere is more image-based and operates in the realm of metaphors.)

Research is important: it influences the way we teach, work, and relate to one another. But there are big problems with brain gender theories and studies. They frequently support gender stereotypes, create barriers, and limit individuals from reaching their potential.

The Power of Brain Gender Stereotype

It has been widely accepted that men and women differ in how they manage people and give orders. Studies pointed to how women soften their demands and statements, whereas men are more direct and unapologetic. For example, women use phrases like:

  • “Don’t you think?” (after presenting an idea)
  • “If you don’t mind?” (following a demand)
  • “This may be a crazy idea, but…” (preceding a suggestion)

Is this nature, or nurture?

Many women are culturally conditioned to encourage harmony in relationships, as evidenced by softened demands, hedged statements, and a more tentative communication style. But tentative communication doesn’t mean a woman actually feels tentative or lacks confidence. Similarly, more direct communication, as seen with men and some women, doesn’t mean a person is arrogant, bossy, or feels superior. These are learned communication styles: a matter of nurture.

The amygdala governs many emotional responses, as well as our ability to remember them. After experiencing a traumatic event, the female amygdala communicates with the left brain hemisphere. The opposite occurs in men: their amygdala communicates with the right hemisphere.

It’s been widely reported that women remember the emotional details of an event, while men recall the ultimate outcome. Furthermore, women use both hemispheres when speaking and processing verbal information, while men primarily use one. These facts are broadly accepted as matters of nature.

But as Cordelia Fine, PhD writes, “Our intellects are not prisoners of our genders or our genes, and those who claim otherwise are merely coating old-fashioned stereotypes with a veneer of scientific credibility.”

Recognize Neurosexism

The term “neurosexism,” coined by Fine, refers to a flawed belief that results from the intersection of neuroscience and sexism. The belief is based on the assumption that gender differences perceived in character and behavior are caused by biological differences between male and female brains. We now have growing evidence and research that points to self-fulfilling prophecies.

Gina Rippon, PhD, and author of The Gendered Brain (Vintage Digital, 2019), has analyzed gender-related differences in the brain. What she has found is that when the differences in brain size are accounted for, differences in key structures disappear. As Rippon explains in an interview with theguardian.com:

“The brain is a rule scavenger and it picks up its rules from the outside world. The rules will change how the brain works and how someone behaves. The ‘gender gap’ becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.”

The Greater Power of Neuroplasticity

We now know that the brain continues to grow well into our later years through a process called “neuroplasticity.” Specifically, brain activity associated with a given function can be transferred to a different location, the proportion of grey matter can change, and synapses may strengthen or weaken over time. Neuroplasticity accommodates learning by producing new neurons, cells that help transfer information. 

“By the close of the 20th century, the brain had come to be envisaged as mutable across the whole of life, open to environmental influences, damaged by insults, and nourished and even reshaped by stimulation—in a word, plastic.”~ Sociologist Nikolas Rose and graduate student Joelle M. Abi-Rached, Neuro: The New Brain Sciences and the Management of the Mind(Princeton University Press, 2013)

Neuroplasticity demonstrates that brain cells can change in response to intrinsic and extrinsic factors. Not only is it possible to change our brain, we can change the way we look at brains, our nature, and our potential. Even as adults, our brains continually change by the work we do, the hobbies we have, our diet, exercise, thought patterns, and attitudes.

Research from Georgia State University suggests that society’s expectations about gender roles alter the human brain at the cellular level. And while our brain may want to quickly sift, sort, label, and file to conserve energy, humans aren’t that binary. We are misguided when we try to classify people into two distinct, many times opposite, and often disconnected forms of masculine and feminine.

The next time you hear someone make the argument that women are more emotional, consider this caution from Rippon, “A gendered world shapes everything, from educational policy and social hierarchies to relationships, self-identity, wellbeing and mental health.”

What’s most important is to recognize the stories we tell: to each other, and to ourselves. Are we building bridges for positive change? How are we encouraging each other, and ourselves, to grow, collaborate, and achieve, individually and together?

The Workplace Bully

Despite what we have learned over the past two decades, the workplace bully remains a key problem for leaders and managers. The experts¾academics, management consultants, industrial psychologists¾all report an increase in bullying. And it’s not limited by demographics, tax brackets, or titles: bullying is increasing in cubicles, manufacturing plants, and even executive suites.

According to a 2017 National Survey, 61% of Americans are aware of abusive conduct in the workplace. This includes 19% of Americans who are bullied and another 19% who witness it, totaling an estimated 60.4 million Americans. Examples of the bullying are much more apparent via news outlets, social media, and the like.

For organizations and individuals, the costs are staggering. Some estimates exceed $150,000/bully/year. This costs employers and insurers $250 billion annually for direct employee health care expenses, turnover and re-training expenses, accidents related to stress-induced fatigue, litigation and settlements, and resistance to top-down change initiatives.

Traditionally, experts recommend that those bullied document the events, calculate the costs, and present these to the employer with a request to remove the bully. Unfortunately, the reported success rate for this approach is only 22.3%. The best approach for individuals and organizations is prevention: protect your employees with policies that enforce zero tolerance for workplace bullying and model the behavior.

Recognize Bullying, Harassment, and Aggression

In today’s culture, workplace bullying is defined as unwelcome behavior that occurs over a period of time and is meant to harm someone who feels powerless to respond.

According to the official website of the U.S. government, stopbullying.gov:

“Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior…that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time.

In order to be considered bullying, the behavior must be aggressive and include:

  • An Imbalance of Power: …such as physical strength, access to embarrassing information, or popularity—to control or harm others. Power imbalances can change over time and in different situations, even if they involve the same people.
  • Repetition: Bullying behaviors happen more than once or have the potential to happen more than once.

Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose.”

Generally speaking, bullying in the workplace goes largely unrecognized by employers, but great leaders and managers watch and listen for the signs:

  • Changes in employee behavior (withdrawn, absent; agitated, frustrated)
  • Individual pitting or competition
  • Blaming, or taking undeserved credit
  • Gossip, mockery, jokes, or other forms of humiliation
  • Cliques, alliances, or teams, that are not inclusive and supportive that lead to shifts, or redistribution of responsibilities, tasks or assignments
  • Spying, interfering, obstructing, poaching, undermining, or sabotaging

Aggression may involve a single incident, while bullying involves repetition and patterns of behavior. It is often subtle and hard to put one’s finger on. Bottom line, workplace bullies undermine an individual’s right to dignity at work.

Understand the Risks

While workplace bullies are likely to target peers, bullying crosses all levels of organizations, from the top down and from the bottom up. A 2019 Study suggests that stressful situations increase the risk of exposure to workplace bullying.

According to the recent study, A Risk Factor for Exposure to Workplace Bullying,

Employees reporting a higher degree of imbalance between efforts and rewards (i.e. who are under-rewarded in comparison to their efforts) have a higher likelihood to be a target of bullying. The perceived injustice may lead employees to engage in norm-breaking behavior and also signal low social standing to others, thereby potentially eliciting negative behaviors from others.”

Other risk factors include:

  • Major organizational changes (mergers, restructuring, new technology, or re-tooling)
  • Staff/resource shortages
  • Poor communication (silos, fragmentation, and one-way communication)
  • Lack of policies
  • Interpersonal conflicts
  • Increased goals/demands

Left unchecked, bullying can become status-quo for an organization, creating a bully culture and a spiral of abuse.

Bully Culture

A bully culture is created when bullying becomes accepted as part of the workplace culture. According to author Tim Field and founder of bullyonline.org, there are several different types of workplace bullies, and distinctions between corporate, organizational, and institutional bullying:

Organizational bullying: when an organization struggles to adapt to changing markets, reduced income, cuts in budgets, imposed expectations, and other external pressures. [short-term occurrences]

Corporate bullying: when an employer abuses employees with impunity especially where the law is weak and jobs are scarce. Examples include: coercing employees, unfair dismissal, denial of benefits, spying/monitoring, creating competition between employees, encouraging fabrication of colleague complaints, etc.

Institutional bullying: when bullying becomes entrenched and accepted as part of the culture. Examples include: people are moved, permanent roles are replaced by short-term contracts on less favorable terms with little alternative but to accept; workloads increase, schedules change, roles change, career progression paths are blocked or terminated, etc., all without consultation.

Threat Assessment

Violence in the workplace is not uncommon: in 2017, assaults resulted in 18,400 injuries and 458 fatalities, according to the National Safety Council. While healthcare workers, service providers, and education workers report more violence than other industries, it can happen anywhere. Training to recognize signs of a workplace bully can help. Many industries have also adopted a threat assessment process to prevent violence. The American National Standards Institute endorsed the use of such teams in colleges in 2010 and workplaces in 2011.

Threat Assessment Process

The threat assessment process involves three functions: identify, assess, and manage. Threat assessment is different from the more established practice of violence-risk assessment, which attempts to predict an individual’s capacity to generally react to situations violently. Instead, threat assessment aims to interrupt people on a pathway to commit violence.

Forensic clinical psychologist Dewey Cornell, Ph.D., describes threat assessment for American Psychological Association in public health terms: prevention, not prediction:

Just as seatbelts and speed limits prevent injuries without predicting who will crash a car, and restrictions on cigarette sales reduce lung cancer deaths without pinpointing who will get the disease, threat assessments aim to prevent violence without profiling potential attackers. We don’t intervene because we predict someone is dangerous, we want to intervene because they’re troubled or there’s conflict or people are worried about them. Prevention becomes a bonus or a secondary gain from dealing with the underlying issue."

How it works:

  • Identify. Authorities identify threats. To do that, people need to know when, how and where to report concerns.
  • Assess. Gather and evaluate information from multiple sources to better understand if the person is planning violence. That could involve security professionals, supervisors, or human resources managers talking to the person of concern, his or her peers and supervisors, as well as looking to social media sites. Authorities may also analyze the subject’s current situation. They ask: Has the subject recently lost a job, gone through a divorce, or filed for bankruptcy? How has he or she handled adversity in the past? Investigators ascertain whether or not the person of concern has a motive, a target, and the organizational skills to carry out an attack. Can he or she get a weapon and use it?
  • Manage. More often than not, an assessment reveals a manageable underlying issue such as bullying, anxiety, or depression that mental health professionals are well trained to handle.

According to Cornell, "We found in case after case, with a systematic, careful approach focused on the problem that stimulated the threat, the threat can go away and the concern about violence diminishes. Every threat is really a symptom of a problem that someone can’t resolve."

It is imperative for leaders and managers to recognize the signs of a workplace bully and address issues before violence erupts.

Correct a Bully Problem

Psychologists have typically looked at violence from an individual perspective, such as who might be likely to commit violent acts, however, they need to dispel the myths and identify the organizational factors that may lead someone to bully in the workplace.

Dispel the Myths

  • Not at my work
  • It’s a fact of life (and we can’t stop it)

The truth is 80% of people studied in 2016 had experienced cyberbullying in the workplace, according to the University of Sheffield and Nottingham University. But there are things that individuals and organizations can do to correct a bully problem. The system, or the organization, is responsible for a psychologically healthy environment. Correct a bully problem by addressing organizational issues:

  • Train employees on how to respond to bullying, how to communicate with difficult people, and other interpersonal training programs.
  • Examine your corporate culture. Check with the human resources department for complaints of unfair treatment or stress and disability claims. Look for patterns within a department.
  • Evaluate your anti-bullying policies, procedures, and processes. Ensure there is an effective and supportive system in place for reporting difficult interpersonal issues.
  • Provide adequate coaching or counseling for victims and offenders. One of the most crucial aspects of creating a healthy workplace is what a company does when it finds a problem employee or manager. The instigator should be made aware that the behavior is inappropriate and not given further responsibility over others. To do so would be to institutionalize the inappropriate behavior.
  • Set clear examples and limits about appropriate behavior at work. Enforce standards and policies in a positive way, early on.
  • Mitigate stress. Certainly, managers do not have control over all the variables that may trigger stress and negativity, but when people perceive a fair workplace, they don’t act out. Provide a sense of employment security, a feeling that it is possible to move within the organization as change occurs. Employees also feel they are trusted, respected, treated with dignity, and given some control over their jobs.

Practicing respect in the workplace and eliminating bullying changes a whole company. Production and efficiency goes up, morale improves, and profits soar. Research indicates that even psychologically unhealthy people are much less likely to engage in violence in a healthy work organization.

Prevent Workplace Bullies

There is no federal anti-bullying legislation in the United States, however, 30 states have introduced workplace anti-bullying bills in recent years, and businesses in California are required to train supervisors on how to identify abusive conduct. But even without protection under federal or state law*, bully behavior can be prevented and prohibited with employer policies and practices.

Don Philpott, a former senior correspondent for Reuters and editor of International Homeland Security Journal suggests a five-step process for understanding and preventing workplace violence in The Workplace Violence Prevention Handbook, (Bernan Press, 2019). This approach can also be used to prevent workplace bullies from causing further harm to individuals and organizations:

  • Understand
  • Detect
  • Defuse and protect
  • Assess and contain
  • Prevent

Anti-bully Policies and Practices

What are your anti-bullying policies and practices? How do they prevent bullying? Ensure there is an effective and supportive system in place for reporting difficult interpersonal issues.

Attorney Jessica Westerman suggests that employers:

  • Create an inclusive culture: prioritize inclusivity.
  • Survey all employees (anonymously) to identify problems.
  • Tailor policies and procedures in response to survey findings.
  • Establish clear anti-bullying policies, and communicate via writing in all languages used in organization.
  • Conduct workplace civility training to promote respect for all.
  • Conduct bystander intervention training to empower co-workers to intervene and create a sense of collective responsibility.
  • Establish and implement clear and simple procedures to report incidents and maintain employee’s confidentiality.

Key to preventing workplace bullying is the knowledge and belief that such incidents can be promptly reported, heard, and investigated, and that workplace bullies will be held accountable. Therefore, it is imperative that leaders create and adopt policies and codes of conduct that address respect in the workplace and bullying.

* Bullying is actionable under federal law when the basis for it is tied to a protected category, such as color, national origin, race, religion, sex, age, disability and genetic information. If bullying amounts to some other civil or criminal wrong, such as assault or battery, it could amount to a claim under state law.

Dealing with Disappointment

Leading in today’s competitive business market requires thinking and reaching beyond the norm. It requires leaders that give and gather the best: intellect, passion and commitment. Leaders know that they can’t achieve desired results without the engagement of others.

We require vendors to fulfill contracts as agreed. We need co-workers to complete assignments and meet deadlines. We anticipate partners will do their fair share. However, sometimes people fail to do so. Let downs occur. Expectations are unmet.

Great leaders will tell you that some of their best improvements and growth have resulted from a response to a disappointment. As painful as they may be, disappointments can be invaluable tools for lessons learned and wisdom gained. The critical question is how to deal with disappointments when they occur.

The Sources of Disappointment

While leaders are in a position to enjoy various kinds of success, they are also subject to disappointment from several areas of work life. Setbacks may be caused by factors that seem to be out of their control. However, patterns and avoidable issues need to be addressed.

Some disappointments come from your people. You counted on them and they let you down. A deadline was missed, an action item was not pursued or a possible solution not considered. Disappointment can turn to resentment if your people indicate apathy toward the misfortune.

Most employees will feel bad about disappointing their leader. It was not their intention. Be mindful of the fact that although you may bear the brunt of the disappointment, your people are often disappointed in themselves.

Other disappointments come to you through the company or its upper management. You may have been passed up for a promotion, denied the requested resources to accomplish a goal or given news that the company won’t be pursuing what looked like a promising venture.

These are not unlike the disappointments you may cause your people. They experience the same types of letdowns, often as the result of your decisions. What could you have done differently? Change what you can, and accept what you can’t. Practice self-compassion, and avoid self-pity.

The best leaders recognize that there are a number of ways they can bear the responsibility for disappointing their employees. Leaders can unknowingly let their people down by:

  • Communicating insufficiently
  • Not providing proper training or resources to get the job done
  • Making poor or uninformed decisions
  • Insufficient project management or follow-up
  • Having poor people skills
  • Behaving in ways that demotivate or disengage
  • Not having the technical ability to solve problems

Smart leaders take steps to raise the bar on their leadership.

Unfortunate Responses to Disappointment

All humans are hard-wired to respond to stimuli with feelings first, analysis second. When we act on our emotions, before we allow time to think, we respond unfavorably to disappointment. Unfortunately, emotionally driven types of responses are common for some leaders, according to leadership expert Peter Bregman’s Harvard Business Review article.

One such response for a disappointed leader is to go into attack mode. The temper rises and hurtful things are spewed. The attack is based on blame. Someone needs to be called out when a leader can’t look internally to their possible contribution to the setback. The underlying goal is self-preservation by causing a subordinate to pay the price. Sometimes damaging words are too extreme to be called back or reconciled. Relationships then become irreparable.

Another leadership response to disappointment is withdrawal. If a leader bears shame or deep regret, they may shut themselves in and avoid contacting the people they feel they’ve let down. They bear the pain alone, unable to deal with the humiliation or regret.

Perhaps they feel that things will heal and return to normal if enough time is allowed to pass, but this is rarely effective. Avoidance is no way to lead and can cripple other aspects of management. Withdrawal is not the example of strength and confidence employees need to see in their leader.

Yet another unfortunate response to disappointment is apathy. Leaders who can’t deal with letdowns rarely continue in their roles for long. They resign themselves to the thought that their position is compromised, and nothing can make up for the mistake. They stop caring altogether, waiting for the end.

Signs of apathy are easy to spot. The leader’s spirit and demeanor drop off significantly. This not only endangers their role, but the roles of everyone counting on them to lead and get things done. The team’s effectiveness and future grow dim until significant changes in personnel are made.

Of course, the severity of these unfortunate responses depends on the seriousness of the disappointment. Everyone has differing emotional tolerances and levels of perspective. Low measures of each cause unfortunate responses that bring regret to everyone.

Proper Responses to Disappointment

Leaders who provide constructive responses to disappointment reflect an honorable character worthy of following, describes Robin Camarote in Inc.com. This involves learning the skills of self-awareness and emotional intelligence. An experienced executive coach is a great resource to help you in this area.

When your people let you down, make it your focus to identify the issues and help them improve. The immediate desire to vent or convict people is damaging and works against you in the long run. Not many employees have a desire to work on solutions after they’re condemned.

Expressing disappointment is very acceptable, as long as it’s done in a way that inspires corrective action and positive attitudes. Calmness and objective reasoning are key. Working through solutions is best done directly with your people, engaging and helping them.

If you treat the situation as the problem, and not the employees, the team will make corrections at an amazing pace. Of course, if certain people have fallen short of expectations a one-on-one approach is called for. A problem employee may need an attitude change, a role change or an employment change, depending on the nature of the issue.

When the company or its top leaders disappoint you, make sure you assess yourself first. Identify your motive, attitude and goals before expressing concerns. Presenting a firm, but professionally positive front is the only way to arrive at a beneficial outcome. Anything less makes you appear to be the problem, and then your problems are just beginning.

Leaders who regret disappointing their people need a humble and transparent approach in order to set things straight. Assess your contribution to the problem and the reasons for it. This is best accomplished with the assistance of another trusted perspective, such as a co-leader or coach.

Improvement is the goal. Devise a plan to address shortcomings and unify your people. Then show them how you’re going to help them succeed. This is often the most difficult type of disappointment for leaders to overcome, but the rewards for your accountability are unlimited.

Establish Your Leadership Brand

Product branding is a familiar concept where product identity, reputation and differentiation are promoted. In an ideal world, a product’s image is established in positive ways, and the market is made aware of its presence. While it seems natural to brand products, leaders often don’t recognize how advantageously this principle can be applied to their careers.

A significant aspect of leadership success pertains to how the leader is perceived and accepted in their role. Favorable impressions are a huge part of the human experience, especially when applied to relationship-based activities such as leading people in an organizational setting. Positive impressions enhance a leader’s impact and offer more growth opportunities than neutral or negative impressions.

Leaders, while valuing the need to perform well and meet commitments, also benefit by establishing a solid personal brand. This allows them to make the most of their skills and potential as they advance their career path. There are several key areas that formulate your leadership brand and, when developed well, can take you to new heights.

What Constitutes a Leadership Brand?

When it comes to brands, products have much in common with leaders. Look at yourself as a product, because in essence, you are. Marketers illustrate their product’s worthiness, offering solutions that couldn’t be obtained without the product. Leaders are in a position to do the same. A product stands on a brand that makes a mark for its value. That’s exactly what successful leaders do as well. Leaders with strong brands are sought for their value because that’s what organizations need.

A strong reputation is the fundamental foundation. In part, your brand is what you’ve done, what you’re capable of doing and what you stand for. Consistent performance and accomplishment build great reputations. This creates a brand that proves a leader’s capabilities or expertise. Leaders with strong brands don’t need to search for opportunities; opportunities come to them.

A leadership brand establishes your voice, as described by Paul Larson in his book Find Your Voice as a Leader (Aviva Publishing, 2016). Leaders with a developed voice have a presence: a distinctive quality that makes them stand out.

Your brand creates a following. As the saying goes, leaders don’t lead unless someone follows. People want to be associated with the benefits that come with success. Leaders with a strong brand represent success, attraction and influence. Employees know that a great leadership brand brings gains to everyone.

If you have a solid leadership brand, you fashion your influence in ways that create a lasting legacy. This maximizes your impact, not only while you are on board, but long after you’re gone. You’ll find nothing more gratifying than an organization that owes its success to your legacy. Does your brand have the potential of doing that?

The Building Block: Behavior

Leaders are primarily known for how they act, especially in tough and trying situations. This goes both positively and negatively. Leaders with strong personal brands have honed their personal skills to be reliable and trustworthy under pressure. This includes being calm, reasonable and poised. People put their faith in leaders who are a rock in a storm because this represents safety and security.

Another aspect of strong brand behavior is genuineness. Leaders who demonstrate transparency and humility are trustworthy. Their brand stands out as a pleasant departure from a leadership norm that lacks these traits. Similarly, a brand of refinement and integrity is admirable. If you are a leader known for doing the right thing, being responsible for your actions, taking the heat and issuing credit, then your brand will rise to the top.

Having confidence in your abilities, based on your competence and experience, is a great brand booster. People can see this in how you speak and carry yourself. However, if this carries over into overconfidence, pride or arrogance, your brand gets tarnished. An experienced executive coach can advise you on the image you portray, and help you reverse any adverse behaviors.

Other personality traits can help to build a solid leadership brand. Leaders who are firm, but fair, earn high praise. People want the ability to do their jobs well and understanding when conditions prevent it. Fair treatment, acknowledgment and reward are the benefits employees receive from strong leadership brands.

Additionally, a leadership style that is prepared and knowledgeable fashions a respected brand. People want leaders who know what they’re doing and can anticipate things that go south; because they do. Being teachable is an extra benefit that lets people know you are real, can relate and don’t pretend to have all the answers. Few things darken a leadership brand more than a self-professed know-it-all.

The Art of Appearance

Like products, leaders convey their brand through their physical packaging. Visual impressions are powerful, as people are wired to make judgements from what they observe. An impressive appearance goes a long way toward a positive leadership brand. As with behavior, the greatest appearance influence is generated by the most positive presentation.

The most immediate visual impact comes from being clean cut and well dressed. This shows an attention to detail and a sense of discipline, two traits that aid in competence, decision making and responsibility. People see a leader who attempts to look their best as someone who applies themselves and reaches for the best.

Leadership expert Dianna Booher, in her book Communicate Like a Leader: Connecting Strategically to Coach, Inspire, and Get Things Done (Berrett-Koehler, 2017), suggests body language is another brand-related factor. It shows in how you carry yourself and respond to the many stimuli around you. Staying in control of your emotions indicates internal strength and good self-awareness. This conveys a rational and subjective command of situations, boosting your leadership brand with the trust of your people behind you.

How you keep your office space also discloses your level of discipline and self-management. A disheveled desk implies disorganization and an inability to stay on top of things. While a perfectly sparkling desk may indicate you are underutilized, you want to have the signs of being busy, yet not inundated beyond your limits. Again, visual perceptions are powerful influencers in how your people receive your brand.

In addition to physical appearance, your emotional appearance weighs into establishing a strong leadership brand. Several personality traits are especially helpful for positive image building (besides being the right way to lead people). Leaders with a positive outlook, framed by good energy and passion, are greatly appreciated. They influence their people positively and inspire them to do their best work. This is a fantastic brand to stand by.

The Criticality of Communication

Leaders who are good communicators build some of the strongest personal brands. Communication is the lifeblood of every organization. It must be promoted and championed by the leader. Companies are handicapped by poor communication, and their brand is tarnished by underperformance. If a company’s brand is tarnished, so is the brand of the leader.

How a leader communicates reflects on their character and competence. Clear enunciation, authoritative delivery and considerate expression all help form a solid brand. In addition, communicating with emotional control and professionalism forges the trust of your people. They have the security of knowing they’re in good hands.

The best leadership communication is based on facts, not speculation. Speaking knowledgably and objectively gains credibility. Wishful emotion and baseless assumptions don’t build a brand. Credible leaders muster the most influence because they gather the most followers. If you do your homework and prepare thoughtful statements, delivered with insight and diplomacy, your leadership brand will be boosted.

A leader’s communication style also impacts the standing of their brand. A trained executive coach can help you with this. Good communicators explain things well. Speaking in brief segments is less confusing. Going back to summarize significant points helps everyone get on the same page. Your leadership brand will benefit by the engagement of your people when you communicate.

Ask questions to make sure your listeners grasp your message. Also, be open to questions from your audience. This conveys a desire to meet their needs and helps them participate in the dialogue. The goal is not to simply get a message out into the open, but to add value to your people by giving them information they need. Leaders who are known for this have solid personal brands.

Speaking skills need to transfer to large group sessions as well, according to Booher. Having a positive, authoritative presence builds an admirable brand. Your people are looking for hope and security in what you say, even if the news is difficult. Putting their interests first positions you to be highly regarded and branded well.

Relying on Relationships

Leadership is essentially the ability to achieve goals through effective relationships. The leaders who have the greatest relational skills have the greatest chance for success and the best foundation for a solid brand. Is your brand known for valuing relationships and enhancing the work lives of your people?

Relational leaders have strong personal brands because their people feel valued and satisfied. Employees enjoy working for a leader who treats them like a partner, like an appreciated resource. This promotes a feeling of security. Leaders who offer these kinds of relationships have a highly regarded brand and benefit in many ways.

Leaders with relational skills want to connect with and engage their people. This involves showing an interest in them, and seeking to understand their hopes and concerns. Leaders who can dialog with active listening build relationships.

Asking questions and actively listening demonstrates interest in others and signals that their thoughts are worth knowing. Be inclusive, asking for feedback from everyone at some point or another. You honor people by appreciating their ideas and solutions to problems.

A key factor is to be approachable and reasonable. If your people know they can come to you and build on a relationship, they will trust you and value your leadership. When employees are comfortable and satisfied with their leader, there are no limits to what they can accomplish.

Inspire your people with a positive, empowering approach. Delegate as much authority as their level can accommodate. Celebrate their victories.

Great Leaders Conduct Great Meetings

The mention of the word meeting will cause most people to groan. Experiences of wastefulness, boredom, confusion and frustration often prompt such a response. Most business experts agree that the vast majority of meetings fail to meet their objective: agreeing to workable decisions to meet established goals.

Top executives typically spend at least 50% of their time in meetings; somewhat less for middle management. As popular as the idea may be to some, absolving or avoiding meetings is not an option. Issues need to be discussed and resolved, and no leader can do this alone. Collective efforts are required to undertake complex challenges, where multiple points of view and a wide range of expertise are needed.

The key is to conduct meetings effectively and make productive use of the participants’ time. But, according to Elise Keith, author of Where the Action Is (Second Rise, 2018), less than one in four leaders are trained to run a meeting. On-the-job learning is rarely adequate. How a meeting is conducted reveals much about the leader heading it and may also be an indicator of how the company is run.

The most successful companies have the most fruitful meetings, where leaders have the skills to bring people together for productive discussions with meaningful outcomes, founded on building consensus. A few simple principles can be employed to boost meeting success and employee willingness to attend. An experienced executive coach can help leaders hone the personal skills needed to improve meeting facilitation.

Preparation is Paramount

Meetings are only as effective as the level of preparedness of the participants. Everyone’s time is waisted if meeting topics are a surprise. The preparation of the attenders is established by the preparedness of the meeting leader. Inviting people to a meeting is not enough. A clear agenda is needed, and it must be distributed to participants with enough time to allow them to be ready for the planned discussion. Leaders who provide their attenders with a realistic, clear agenda increase their success rates significantly.

Agenda items can’t be unfamiliar to attenders. As Amy Gallo suggests in a Harvard Business Review article, your people need to be familiar with the topics to understand what’s being discussed. If this isn’t the case, then they need to be informed prior, either via conversations, a preliminary meeting or their own research.

Make your agenda achievable within the meeting timeframe. People will dread attending if your meetings habitually run over, or insignificant enough to not warrant the meeting in the first place. Meetings should be called only when more personal forms of communication are inadequate.

Have necessary materials or documents available for your meetings. If your attendees need to see them ahead of time, distribute the information with enough time for review. Everyone at the meeting should know the materials in front of them. When in doubt, overcommunicate.

Plan your meeting with definitive start and stop times and stick to them. People have more confidence in a leader who manages time well. If you start your meeting on time, those who are late will avoid a repeat, and they will learn to be prompt.

Leaders who plan their meetings with anticipated concerns or questions from their people have a more effective dialogue and better results. Being proactive can avoid difficult or distracting moments and give people more confidence in your concern for them.

Efficiency is Essential

Busy employees try to make the most of their time, hating to waste it. They also appreciate leaders who value them enough not to have their time wasted. This is most noted when it comes to holding meetings. When meetings are loosely run, dragging on and getting little done, the time-wasting alarm goes off in every participant’s head.

Alternatively, efficient meetings are greatly appreciated and often favorably anticipated. People who attend productive meetings feel benefitted and know they can do their jobs better. Their motivation, attitude and productivity rise. When meetings are boring and wasteful, people feel depleted, frustrated and farther from their goals. When leaders conduct efficient meetings, the enhancement of the culture is significant.

One of the most valuable aspects of an effective meeting is brevity. Keeping meetings short and sweet benefits your people in numerous ways. A lot of ground can be covered in thirty minutes when effective tactics are used. People can’t take much more than an hour without regretting the experience. A recent trend is the stand-up meeting. The idea is that standing can be endured for less time than sitting, so everyone is motivated to wrap things up promptly.

Small talk and rabbit trails are common, but your facilitating skills need to bring people back on track. This can be done kindly and considerately, while being firm enough to get the job done on time. Electronic devices also distract the group and should be set aside until the meeting is concluded. Of course, leading by example is the best way to convey these approaches.

Another efficiency-related strategy is to get as much participation from the group as possible. Keep your people engaged by asking questions and requesting individual responses. The more diverse the feedback, the more thorough the discussion, and the better the resulting decisions will be. Balancing discussion with brevity is a master-facilitator skill.

Follow-up is Foundational

Effective leaders recognize that what takes place after meetings can be just as important as what happens during them. Following up with your people ensures that what was assigned or decided has a greater chance of succeeding. Summarize your meeting discussions before the meeting concludes, and make sure everyone is on the same page and understands what you expect of them. This is best facilitated by assigning names and dates to action items, not hoping someone picks up the ball.

Credit people with good ideas as you wrap up. This encourages more participation and yet more ideas. Following their activities afterwards keeps these ideas fresh and likely to bear fruit. When you empower your people to run with their ideas and prove themselves, they will reflect the benefits of your meeting discussions.

A valuable asset resulting from a meeting is a written record of what was discussed and decided. Leaders who make sure minutes are taken make their meetings more effective by giving all participants a copy. Things left to memory are often lost. Develop the collective mindset that the minutes are the roadmap everyone is held accountable to.

As action items are pursued, successful leaders request reports and updates to keep the group informed and moving forward. With this continuous flow of information, team members are able to perform at their best. Everyone reaps the rewards when leaders run effective meetings.

An often-overlooked aspect of meeting follow-up is the celebration of progress on the items previously planned and discussed. Letting your people know they’re appreciated, valued and contributing to the success of the organization builds their confidence and self-worth. Your meetings will get progressively more effective when your people are motivated to shine and support you. Following these basic principles develops a culture where meetings undergird the quality of progress you and your people make.

Raising Your Leadership Bar

In today’s breakneck corporate culture, many leaders have redefined their success. Merely keeping up with the chaos has become an acceptable goal. The trend in organizational management is to focus on staying afloat and ponder the future if time allows. The common theme is do more with less.

Unfortunately, this attempt to enhance the profit picture as much as possible has created unprecedented levels of stress, dysfunction and disappointment for leaders. The time leaders can afford to spend on their leadership skills and personal growth, as critical as these areas are, seems to shrink every year. Leaders are under increasing pressure to make their companies all they can be, with little time taken to making themselves all they can be.

The most successful leaders use sound approaches to assess their work and determine what they can do to improve what they do. They understand that their company will prosper if they personally prosper as an effective leader with the best approach, ability, mindset and stability. How they go about raising their personal bar is the key.

What’s Your Perspective?

If chaos is the norm for you, have you ever contemplated how you can change that? Perhaps a more basic question is: do you recognize the detrimental effects that chaos has on you? The most effective leaders have learned to step back, even if only briefly at first, to assess their leadership situation: their career, influence, personal growth and satisfaction. They ask themselves important questions and try to find answers:

  • What are the things in my role that I should continue doing?
  • What are the things in my role that I should change?

These are prominent concerns all leaders should address, according to leadership expert and author Peter Bregman in, Leading with Emotional Courage: How to Have Hard Conversations, Create Accountability, and Inspire Action on Your Most Important Work (Wiley, 2018). These areas are foundational in developing the character, skills and desires to lead well.

Other related thoughts:

  • What would it look like if you became all you could be?
  • What’s keeping you from getting there?
  • How best can you alter the things that are holding you back?
  • What character traits are worth developing in this endeavor?

Leaders who deliberately find time to explore these areas are richly rewarded. They grow in their abilities and value, make more use of the skills they have and enter new avenues of opportunity and success. Find a way to schedule more time for these kinds of thoughts. A seasoned executive coach is an excellent resource to guide you through this process. Few leaders see things objectively enough when dealing with their inner workings. A second set of eyes spots things you can’t.

Leaders make the most progress in self-development by cutting through the clutter, looking at the big picture and making basic, yet profound adjustments. This may require courage, patience and determination.

Bregman suggests four fundamental categories that leaders can examine to enhance their mindset, value and purpose:

  • Clarity
  • Focus
  • Intentionality
  • Balance

Find a Clear Theme

Clarity is the ability to see things as they are with an accurate perception and understanding. It’s a freedom from uncertainty or confusion. It’s the skill to grasp fundamental truths and distinguish false alternatives. Clarity of mind stands as a basic framework to hang other usable skills, and successful leaders learn how to find it.

According to Bregman, one of the most distinguishing character traits successful leaders possess is clarity. This encompasses not only reaching a state of clarity, but continuing to embody it. In other words, providing clarity to others is just as vital as establishing it within yourself. After all, what is the point of a leader being clear if no one else benefits from it?

In the effort to be all you can be as a leader and determine how to move forward, you need to assess your recent performance and frame your effectiveness. Ask yourself what things went well. Just as important, ask what kinds of things did not go well. Putting together an historical picture helps to reveal patterns. The next step is to discern common causes for the things that did not go well. The goal is to find a personal theme behind it all, as Bregman suggests.

You may find your theme to be similar to these:

  • Emotions get in the way of clear thinking and reasonable responses. When I have calm responses rather than emotional reactions, outcomes are much better.
  • Overthinking makes things more complicated. When I break things down into simple compartments, solutions are more effective and longer lasting.
  • Rushing to conclusions with impatience takes me down terrible paths. Taking a more deliberate approach, dealing with one step at a time, yields a better understanding and thus better decisions.

Your theme determines the corrective action needed to reverse the affects you don’t want to see.  Make it your ‘theme for clarity”. Let it be simple, doable and easy to remember. Make it your focus every day. For example, if your theme is to slow down, practice slowing down. A deliberate awareness will become an automatic state of mind. Be all you can be by finding your best self-improvement theme.

Sharpen Your Focus

In a fast-paced environment, it’s difficult to think about the future and where you want to go. Understanding what your future looks like and how to reach your full potential requires dedicated, undistracted thought. It requires a sharper focus on the things that matter down the road.

Preparing for the future should be a thoughtful and optimistic matter. Time must be dedicated to evaluating the possibilities and potential. This means that you’ll need to split your time between current tasks and potential or future tasks. This doesn’t necessarily mean an equal split, but some kind of proportionate division, dependent on the circumstances. It comes down to deciding what to let go of in order to focus on the future.

Bregman is keen to point out that this is difficult for many executives, not because of time constraints as much as the common paradigm that non-essential tasks are not productive and have no apparent return. The culture has us convinced that only the tasks that provide a quantifiable return (and quickly) are worth pursuing. Leaders who’ve become all they can be know this to be untrue.

Future goals are gradually achieved by working in ways that, on the surface, have no short-term rewards, but in principle have great long-term payback. This includes networking and building relationships, daily writing or journaling, learning new personal skills and reading. The key is to continuously improve yourself and your prospects while understanding that these activities may not support your immediate role. It requires a renewed focus and dedication.

Be More Intentional

Leaders are busier than ever and have no energy to spare. Bregman reminds leaders who want to be all they can be that they need to be strategic about their time and energy. They must be productive, and that requires optimal focus and effectiveness. Being fatigued makes this much more difficult. Leaders can’t be busy just to be busy. Their time must count.

An intentional approach focuses on the most beneficial areas, and thinking can be one of them. You find what matters most by recognizing that the things bringing you the most joy are just as important as the things bringing the organization the most benefit. The intention is to pursue both.

Joy is important to grow and refresh. It permits you to apply yourself and have a positive perspective in your role. A significant aspect of finding joy is to let go of the things that annoy, frustrate or drain you. Many leaders find doses of refreshment by letting emails go for a while. Take a step back from time to time and let go of worries.

Many leaders get worn down by wasting their time. Ineffective meetings, reports or trips take their toll. Make note of how you spend your effort, and you’ll see how much of it could be more fruitful. Make an intentional decision to change this as much as you can by revising your routine, commitments and habits. How can you reduce frustration and increase joy?

Do you spend too much unproductive time on the internet? Are all the meetings you attend necessary? Eliminate time wasters, but don’t obsess over it. If you want to reach your maximum potential, you must be intentional about your goals and the methods you’ll employ to achieve them.

Balancing Work and Life

Our culture has brainwashed us into believing that our occupations determine our identities and our productivity indicates our value. Breaking this unfortunate mindset is a struggle for most leaders.

Technology facilitates this myth. Leaders can be accessed virtually everywhere, whether they are on company property or not. As Bergman rightly observes, the workplace is now everywhere. We can’t escape the demands and expectations put on us. The boundaries between work and personal life are gone. Leaders battle this boundary invasion, and their debased sense of value bleeds over into home life, where none of the work-related demands should be.

Leaders who’ve become all they can be have decided that their role at work is important, but not all-defining. They’ve learned to sense self-worth in all aspects of their lives: with family, friends, activities and personal growth. Their resulting joy and satisfaction help them to engage in all that they do with optimism and effectiveness. The key is not necessarily dividing their lives into work and non-work time, but finding a way to balance them such that they complement each other. 

Time management techniques at work can reduce the in-office demand and open up more non-work time. Establish a routine that helps you cover more bases in less time using the resources and staff available to you. Think ahead, anticipate demands and plan for multiple situations. This can reduce your stress and let you be fresher for the office and at home.

Similarly, more joy at home allows you to be more positive and fruitful at work. The most well-rounded leaders have found ways to enrich their relationships and activities at home, bringing more pleasure to life. Your family deserves more from you than what’s left over from what your employer takes. Many leaders have found that a richer work life is built on a foundation of a richer personal life.

Save your sanity and energy and bring a fresh approach to each day. If you balance the aspects of your life, you’ll have a more fulfilling identity and a richer purpose. These are the best paths to becoming all you can be as a leader.

The Behaviors That Lead Change

A well-known paradox states that the only thing that remains the same is change. Most leaders agree. Businesses are, and always have been, subjected to the influences of technology, economies, politics, competition and the culture. Change is unavoidable. The most successful companies are led by people who recognize the need for change and manage it well. Alternatively, those who cannot will subject their organizations to the risks of failure.

Implementing change is a significant aspect of leading organizations, in some ways more critical than many traditional areas. Some necessary changes are minor, while others are major. Mergers or acquisitions rank in the major-change category, as does rebranding or downsizing.

The way that change is managed can ruin the most passionate dreams of accomplishing it. Studies show that a vast majority of projects involving change don’t succeed. The estimates vary between 60 and 80 percent. Failures in the change process result in large wastes of capital and time, and may send a company backwards from the position it started in.

Evaluations of corporate change reveal something else: the major factor in successful change management is internal to the company, not an influence from the outside. This applies to the organization, as well as the top leader. According to a Harvard Business Review article by organizational change expert Edith Onderick-Harvey, the leader’s behavior is the most critical distinguishing element determining success or failure.

Communication is Critical

Surveys and studies confirm that the most important aspect of organizational change is keeping everyone involved and informed. That requires meaningful and continuous communication. Leaders who want to achieve successful change must have strong communication skills. They must be people oriented.

Employees who comment on their organization’s inability to implement change point to how they were not properly informed, directed or trained regarding the change process. Their leaders attempted to implement change from behind the scenes, hoping everyone would fall in line. This doesn’t happen naturally.

Most people like a predictable and reliable environment, where personal comfort and familiarity provide a sense of safety. For many, change presents risks that take them out of their comfort zones. Risks threaten positions of influence, authority, competency or rewards. Change poses a potential for failure, or the possibility of being worse off than before. That’s why change is resisted.

Staff needs thorough connectedness with leadership to overcome fear of change. Leaders must reach out to their people to convey the need for change with rationale and reasons. They need to set the vision, tout the benefits and lay out the course in a way that compels people to buy into the program. Leaders who effectively implement change are focused on their people as much as the change itself.

Effective change agents understand the perceptions and impacts of change. They care about people and engage them from beginning to end, involving them in every step. This includes the following, all calling for communicative behavior:

  • Introduction with compelling presentations that lay out the need for change and how it will be accomplished
  • Assurance that the needs of the employees are vitally important, and their roles will be enhanced or improved
  • Continuous updates on how things are going and what the timeline looks like
  • Encouragement for people to stay positive and enthused
  • Requests for feedback and opportunities to answer questions, address concerns and revise the plan if needed
  • Empowerment of others to engage in and contribute to the process

Be a Beacon of Light

Successful change agents know their people need encouragement through the process, remembering that many people resist or distrust change. They need an extra measure of positivity and support.

This calls for the leader to have an optimistic outlook and, as Onderick-Harvey describes, view change as an opportunity. If the leader doubts the process, how can their people have confidence in it? A positive mindset at the upper management level is most powerful when it is spread throughout the organization. Leaders who behave confidently with the courage to take on the challenges that come with change have the greatest influence on success.

As the leader, it is imperative that you embrace change rather than fear it, as Inc. Magazine writer Robbie Abed suggests. It is, after all, your program, authorized by you, so fear needs to be eliminated from your behavior from the outset. Your courage must be contagious, especially when setbacks occur. A committed and confident leader calms everyone’s nerves and keeps them forging ahead.

The optimistic leader keeps negative emotions in check. While undergoing change, people need a steady rock, a beacon of light to feel safe and secure. Let them see you in that role.

Part of this approach is a character that believes in people and lets them know it. Empower others to contribute input and ideas. They are, after all, the experts in the detailed operations within your organization. Solicit engagement in crafting solutions and revisions to the plan. Demonstrate that they are trusted, valued and a critical part of implementing the change, which boosts optimism and buy in.

Another way optimism is conveyed is the rejection of the status quo. The old ways of doing things cannot continue and better ways are coming. Better ways will benefit everyone. Yes, it will be hard work to implement change, and there will be struggles. But your people are worth it! Let your people know that they deserve better than “good-enough”.

The Power of Authenticity

As change is announced and implemented, people want the straight story—the truthful picture of what’s happening. If the leader has a secret agenda, hidden motives or suppressed information, people lose trust and won’t provide much-needed buy-in. Behind-the-scenes issues eventually become exposed, so it’s simply best to convey everything up-front with your employees.

This is especially true if the project hits snags. Being open and truthful is the best way to unify the workforce and keep them engaged. People can often handle bad news as long as they’re valued enough to be informed properly and given the chance to respond. As the saying goes, honesty is always the best policy.

This often takes an extra measure of leadership humility, suggests change expert Bill Hogg. A leader who can admit mistakes, see a need for corrections to the plan and lay this out for their people gains the highest trust and participation in staying the course. Your authenticity diminishes their fear of change. An even more powerful approach allows your people to offer their expertise to derive solutions or improvements. Providing opportunities to fully invest in the change process yields the greatest chances for success.

Leaders should be willing and able to handle failures along the way, knowing some will pop up. This is a realistic approach, and by preparing your staff for this, their collective mindset provides the most thoughtful and insightful responses. Change is difficult enough. Being prepared to step in when needed provides a teamwork that can’t be achieved any other way.

A leader’s authenticity in facing adversity, having difficult conversations, conveying their concern for their people and recognizing what needs to be improved makes the change process as rewarding as possible. Your people will grow and have the confidence to take on further changes down the road.

Overturn Leadership Liabilities

Leaders are encouraged to develop their strengths and sharpen their skills to maximize their effectiveness. Many resources are available, including books, seminars, conferences and qualified executive coaches. A coach, of course, can address your specific needs, and customize an approach that perfectly fits your personality, circumstances and goals.

Most leaders understand that all their beliefs and behaviors are exposed. They put their character on display every day. Employees rightfully attribute the organization’s success or failure to how the top leader leads.

While focusing on strengths is very worthwhile and profitable, leaders can’t reach peak effectiveness without taking a hard look at their weaknesses. A leader’s prominence in the organization automatically designates their strengths as assets. Alternatively, their weaknesses can be considered liabilities, blocking the organization from reaching its potential.

Although not a fond exercise, some of the most significant personal growth can come from understanding what behavior is blocking collective success. The best leaders make the decision to understand their liabilities, many of which they never notice. Turning them around to become assets will be the most valuable undertaking of their professional careers.

The Impact of Leadership Liabilities

Many leaders don’t recognize their liabilities or the detrimental effects they have on their organization. Every leader has weaknesses of some kind. The wisest are willing to learn about them and undo the damage they cause. After all, if the company struggles, the employees struggle, and this eventually comes full circle to cause the leader to struggle.

For the most part, leadership liabilities have to do with personality rather than a lack of technical skills or knowledge. Knowledge can be acquired with relative ease. Leaders can also rely on the expertise of people around them to cover their technical skill shortcomings. However, leaders can’t look to others to compensate for their personality shortcomings. Only the leader can address these.

Even when other co-leaders bring effective assets to the organization, an ineffective leader with liabilities can undo them, as leadership experts Robert Anderson and William Adams explain in Scaling Leadership: Building organizational Capability and Capacity to Create Outcomes that Matter Most (Wiley, 2019). They put it succinctly by stating that “leaders with liabilities simply get in their own way.”

Some leaders observe disappointing results and reason that they just need to work harder. They press more or put in longer hours to compensate for a perceived deficiency. This is rarely the solution. In fact, with an ineffective style or disruptive personality, working harder can exacerbate the liabilities. More of a bad thing is generally a worse thing.

Leaders who bring character or personality liabilities to their organizations see a variety of debilitating results. Diminished productivity, morale, unity, loyalty and progress are just a few of the outcomes. Ultimately, the organization is unsuccessful, and so is its leader.

Anderson and Adams point to three primary self-centric tendencies that cause leadership liabilities: disliking people, devaluing people and having emotional deficiencies.

Leaders Who Dislike People

It may seem like a contradiction, but some leaders don’t like people. Although they technically need others in order to run a team, they behave in ways that indicate they have no need for them. This proves to be a significant liability and it’s generally not difficult to spot.

Poor people skills are an indicator. Leaders who don’t treat people well signal their dislike for them. Common signs include not acknowledging others by initiating or returning a greeting, and being non-responsive to questions or comments. Adding arrogance or disrespect is a more blatant clue.

A leader’s liability is even more pronounced when they are critical of their employees, criticizing, condemning or insulting them. An argumentative character adds fuel to the fire, clearly displaying a dislike for people. This cuts peoples’ spirits and destroys their self-esteem. Morale and unity get crushed, sabotaging productivity and team effectiveness.

Anderson and Adams describe another way leaders display their dislike for people: being a poor team player. Unwilling to engage others, they rather work independently, keeping information to themselves. Withholding support may also be a way of avoiding contact, but it is a liability that handicaps the organization.

Pride plays a role in leaders who always believe they are right. The team’s position is not as important as that of the ego-driven leader who is never wrong. This throws up walls that block teamwork, and thus success. Employees have no tolerance for this kind of mindset and will express it with their feet.

A lack of follow-up is yet another way leaders reveal their dislike for people. This is often exhibited as a resistance to addressing difficult issues with employees: not wanting to hear their opinions or concerns. Not holding them accountable can be a way to avoid encounters. No one gets corrected, taught, instructed or challenged. This liability leads to disorganization and disruption. Rules and policies become meaningless and the company crumbles under its mismanagement.

When People are Devalued

A surprising number of workers claim that their supervisors don’t value them: that they are treated like subservient slaves. It is a significant reason why people quit their jobs. As a popular saying goes, people don’t leave companies, they leave their bosses.

Leaders bring a serious liability to their organizations when they don’t treat their people well. Employees may be driven hard, given unrealistic expectations, buried in work that they have no way to accomplish, or go unforgiven for past mistakes. This is a signal that their needs are not considered important, that they have little value in the eyes of the leader.

Leaders who treat their people this way give the impression that obedience is the most important factor: they are to do or die, not to question why. Messengers of bad news get shot. There is little understanding or caring about the staff. Only the leader’s needs matter. It sounds harsh, but unfortunately is common.

This is a clear demonstration of devaluing people and it causes serious consequences. Above all else, people need to sense value to maintain self-worth, confidence and positivity to do their work. Devaluing people strips them of these critical aspects, while debilitating the productivity and longevity of the staff.

Micromanaging is yet another way leaders demonstrate a devaluing of their people. It stems from the leader’s belief that no one can match their high standards, so they must be over-guided to get things right. People are not considered competent or trustworthy enough. This devalues and demoralizes them, and creates a stinging liability.

Leaders who listen poorly devalue their people by indicating that they have nothing important to say, that they can’t contribute. A leader who is lost in their own thoughts signals that only their thoughts are significant. They live in their own little world, and none of their people are worthy of entering it. As communicator and author Andy Stanley puts it, “Leaders who refuse to listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing significant to say.” That’s a serious liability.

When Leadership Emotions Take Over

Employees look to their leader to establish safety and trust. Leaders accomplish this in part with behavior that is rational, calm, logical and wise. They don’t get rattled by letting situations get the best of them.

Leaders who portray a solid, steadfast source of guidance and direction earn the trust of their people. The opposite is true for leaders who can’t control their emotions when the pressure hits. Employees question their security when their leader shows they’re not putting the team first.

Research conducted by Anderson and Adams reveals that leadership impatience is a common response to difficulty. Leaders who lack patience in tough situations release frustrations and resentments, showing an intolerance for something not going their way. It can be accompanied by anger and disrespect.

Impatience from a leader is a way of indicating that they believe something is wrong with their people. This is a damaging mindset, even if it’s momentary. People sense this and respond negatively. Leader impatience can also lead to taking shortcuts to make up for lost time, and that has its own set of potential consequences.

Anger and tirades are more serious behavioral problems indicating a lack of emotional control. Employees are put on high alert when the leader overreacts to bad news. People sense defeat and that can lead to depression, high stress and lower productivity. A leader with little emotional control is a liability to the organization.

Leaders can handicap their company by prioritizing their personal agenda over that of the company. When decisions are made favoring their personal gain rather than team accomplishment, the organization suffers. Protecting one’s image or turf can lead to lying, cheating, blame-shifting or credit-grabbing. It is damaging and is a liability to everyone.

Minimizing Liabilities

Since the most damaging leadership liabilities have to do with the inability to work well with their people, leaders benefit best by making effective relationships a priority. As Anderson and Adams point out, the greatest challenge in minimizing these kinds of liabilities is to find an optimal balance between a focus on tasks and relationships.

In essence, the best leaders have minimized personality-related liabilities by valuing others before self. This is easier said than done. First, it requires an understanding of your liabilities and character. A trusted confidant can offer a different perspective and help you take a deeper look. This may be a close colleague or better yet, a qualified executive coach who has an impartial mindset.

Listen to those who can honestly counsel you and frankly describe what they see in you. They are helping you; be thankful for it. With this new knowledge, work to undo some of the behavior that threatens the unity within the ranks. Your people are not assets to be used merely for the sake of getting work done. They are your partners joining together to support your cause, wanting to succeed together. They want you to succeed as well.

Being mindful of this is the best way to develop appreciation for your people and show them that they are valued. You need to be valued, and so do they. Give yourself a mission every day to add value to them and watch the unity grow. This is the major difference between leaders who overcome liabilities and those who don’t.

If your behavior reflects honesty, authenticity and transparency, your people will see that you care about them and much of the damage caused by your liabilities can be reversed. Respect for your people will be returned multi-fold. Engage your people with enthusiasm and encouragement and you’ll be amazed at how they respond. Let go of control and see how well they grow and develop.

Your leadership liabilities are dependent on your outlook—your attitude. Are you willing to put in the effort to turn it around? Relying on the expertise of a seasoned leadership coach can get you off to a great start.

Is Your Workplace Healthy?

Businesses face challenges from numerous angles, and leaders are tasked with understanding and addressing them. Many resources and case studies have helped leaders learn how to deal with things like competitive analysis, gaining market share, employee engagement, cost reduction, and manufacturing efficiencies. But a hidden challenge has made itself more prominent in recent years, and much of it goes unacknowledged by management: the mental illness of employees.
Data continues to show that the mental health of an organization’s staff is critical in determining how well an organization functions. Weakened mental health is a silent enemy, and it takes a keen understanding of its nature, causes, and solutions to address it effectively. According to the Johns Hopkins Mental Health in the Workplace Summit, mental illness is the leading cause of disability for U.S adults under the age of 44.
Many leaders unknowingly run organizations hampered by employee disability due to mental illness. Some leaders don’t see it, others don’t want to. It is a very real issue that inhibits organizations, yet many in leadership fail to address. But with the proper approach, leaders can effectively help their people recover and maintain their mental health.
The Cost of Mental Illness
Studies show that people are greatly affected by their work environment. Their experiences, pressures, and failures take a toll, often chipping away at their mental health. As technology accelerates the speed of commerce—and as a result, its demands and shortcomings—a greater percentage of the workforce is squeezed in the vice we call progress. It has become a chronic problem.
The World Health Organization posted in a recent publication that worker mental illness, in its various forms, costs the global economy over $1 trillion each year. Employee absenteeism is more heavily caused by mental illness than physical illness or injury according to the Mental Health in the Workplace summit. One in five adults in the U.S. experience a form of mental illness and less than half are getting treated. A survey of office employees conducted by workplace consultants Peldon Rose reveal that three out of four employees would like their employer to oversee mental health initiatives, with workable plans and treatment opportunities. Ninety-five percent claim that their work environment is an important factor in their state of wellbeing and mental health.
Many leaders have a bigger issue on their hands than they realize: their workplace can cause their people great distress in ways that don’t surface to the passing eye. This, in turn, causes diminished effectiveness and organizational output. Attitudes suffer, and the cycle perpetuates. Mental distress causes abnormal behavior and responses. Anger, impatience, apathy, silence, and disengagement are observed responses by those experiencing mental illness.
The mental illnesses of concern aren’t degenerative clinical disorders. The most common problems involve depression, anxiety, and fear. These are no longer dismissed as emotional phases or passing stages. Experts have come to regard extended seasons of these as ailments, due to their lasting impacts, debilitating effects, and the need for treatment.
With mental illness in the workforce, organizations experience abnormal turnover, communication breakdown, dissatisfied customers, and shrinking profits. It benefits every leader to understand this growing issue and learn how to meet the mental health needs of their people.
The Causes of Workplace Related Mental Illness
People consider their jobs to be a significant part of their lives, and not just for the obvious income-providing reason. Naturally, their lifestyles depend on a reliable source of funds. But the study of human behavior indicates that people need their employment for more than income, whether they consciously recognized it or not.
Our jobs provide us with purpose through opportunities of accomplishment. Employment, when experienced in a positive environment, offers the all-important sense of value. Working people look to their jobs to find self-esteem and satisfaction by being needed and accepted as competent. These are fundamental needs, and when they aren’t met, the spirit suffers. Prolonged periods of emotional neediness inflict significant damage, where the mind responds unfavorably with numerous effects.
The human spirit reacts to its surroundings. When the workplace treats people poorly (or they have the impression they are being treated poorly), they respond negatively. The mind jumps to their defense and justifies an altered line of behavior.
Employees sense poor treatment when they are disrespected. This can involve being ignored, ridiculed, subjectively judged, or discriminated against. An employee’s emotions manifest as anger, resentment, or rejection. Worse than disrespect is abuse. A person who is reprimanded needlessly, insulted, antagonized, or threatened will develop a sense of inferiority or hopelessness. They may feel targeted, worthless, insecure, or fearful.
Poor treatment, and the pressures of a dynamic and demanding environment, cause some to wonder if they can cope. Survival mode is a desperate place to be, causing people to worry about losing their job and life-sustaining income. This weight also impacts their families. People experiencing these kinds of emotions can’t work at peak productiveness. Mental illness debilitates cognition, memory, and responses. It demotivates, destabilizes, and may be manifested as anxiety if relief isn’t found.
Depression can also set in. Experts understand depression to be a prevalent issue in the workplace. They know this from surveys, since it is by and large an unspoken subject at the employee level. This is due to the difficulty of self-diagnosis and the unwillingness to be open about personal problems. The subject is still difficult to raise in many workplaces.
Mental illness affects much more than a person’s work. It negatively affects their physical, family, and social health. This often worsens the mental health spiral.  Leaders who recognize the importance of mental health create an environment that supports it.
Addressing Mental Health
The primary step in treating or minimizing mental health issues within your staff is awareness. Leaders who understand the problem and know how to spot the telltale signs have a great advantage in creating an environment that can effectively address mental health.
Reactionary measures rely on leaders being observant. When an employee negatively changes their behavior, there are definite reasons why. Look for indications of depression, nervousness, or unusual emotional expression. For example, explore why normally out-going people become withdrawn. Attitude adjustments like apathy, disinterest, or unwillingness are red flags. Of course, it helps for the leader to get to know their people well enough to spot such changes in behavior or attitude.
Due to the prevalence of mental health issues in the workplace, it is wise for companies to establish employee assistance resources, either on-site or nearby. Give people the consideration they need when facing problems, and offer professional help. Corporate mental health policies add another layer of consideration by treating troubled employees with respect and support. A Fortune article by health and wellness expert Alan Krohll suggests reviewing and improving internal policies, and including all employees in the training. People are taught how to come alongside distressed coworkers and show them they are cared for.
Preventative measures revolve around leaders creating an enjoyable culture. Do you trust your people? Or do you micromanage and keep them under your control? Giving people the autonomy and freedom to make decisions prevents a controlled and powerless feeling. It gives their efforts meaning and assigns value to them. People sense themselves growing and enjoy being part of a group effort that appreciates their contributions.
A culture that supports employees—that offers direction, communication, and the resources needed to successfully accomplish tasks—gives people peace of mind. They know they are prioritized as valuable assets. This diminishes stress and worry, and forges positive attitudes, mindsets, and feelings. Leaders who respond to the project needs of their people provide assurances that their environment is safe. Safety offers stability and confidence, resulting in satisfaction rather than anxiety.
A qualified executive coach can offer beneficial counsel on maintaining a healthy culture. Give your people your best, and they’ll give you their best. Their mental health is worth protecting.